Watch my back
by Jinxgirl
Summary: Sequel to "Anymore," prequel to "Jaibait." Fourteen-year-old Faith is living on the streets after the death of her mother and finds help in the form of Legs Sadovsky, of Foxfire, and her Watcher, Diana Dormer.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Whedon owns Faith, Joyce Carol Oates owns Legs.

Author notes: This takes place after my story "Anymore," a kind of sequel to it and a prequel to "Jailbait." Faith is recently fourteen, and living on the streets, when she befriends Legs Sadovsky of Foxfire (the movie version, played by a young Angelina Jolie, not the Joyce Carol Oates book).

Faith stood in the narrow aisle of the small gas station food area, carefully scrutinizing the row of crackers, cookies, gum, candy, and chips before her. She could already feel her mouth watering in anticipation, her heart beating faster underneath her dirty long-sleeved shirt and torn jacket, neither warm enough for early January Boston weather. She picked up a package of crackers in one hand and cookies in the other, pretending to study their ingredients. All the while she was really attempting to determine without looking whether the Indian store owner was watching her. It was the middle of the school day, and most young teenage girls would be in school- already she looked suspicious, and the fact that she hadn't done more than clean herself up in the library bathroom or managed to get hold of a change of clothes for a couple of days couldn't be a plus on the inconspicuous side either.

Still pretending to examine the packages in her hands, Faith made a show of casually putting them back on the shelves, now picking up a bag of chips. Her plan was to keep picking things up and looking at them, and then, while in the process of switching them out, quickly slip a few items inside her jacket pocket or down the front of her loose jeans. After all, how many people would really ask you to stick your hand down your pants? Okay, well, if it was a guy, every one of them, every time. But this guy was foreign- maybe the rules of guy-dom were different in his country and hadn't been passed onto him yet. Fat chance, but Faith could hope.

She was starting to pick up another small bag of chips when a husky voice whispered nearly directly into her ear and she suddenly sensed the presence of a larger, taller form behind her, so close that Faith felt warm breath stir her long tangled waves of hair.

"You haven't been doing this too long, have you, babe?"

Faith's hands stilled, her features tensing, pupils widening quickly, and she jerked around, one hand fleeing to her hip to close her hand around the knife she always kept inside her left pocket. The amused face that she scanned with rapid, nearly angry instincts behind her was unique, intense in an oddly androgynous way, in spite of the almost swollen-looking and obviously female lips. The person who had spoken was somewhere around 16 or 17 years old, a couple of years older than Faith herself, and dressed in a similar vaguely masculine outfit of baggy jeans, jacket, and t-shirt, also ill suited for the current winter weather. The girl had very bold, dramatic features that seemed slightly too large individually in her small face, but somehow worked well together to make her an interesting, if not quite stunning, person to look at. Her hair was short and dark, her limbs long and bony in her tall, slender frame, and she looked at Faith with her blue eyes shimmering with intensity even as her lips quirked, as though she found the younger girl and her actions to be quite entertaining.

Faith, however, wasn't enjoying the girl's private joke, and especially the fact that she had just ruined any attempt at shoplifting she could have gotten away with. Her dark eyes narrowing, she scowled fiercely up at the taller girl, keeping her voice low as well in hopes that the store owner wouldn't eavesdrop or become too suspicious watching them together.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she said defiantly, lifting her chin. "I'm just picking out a snack."

"Yeah, and hoping for a five finger discount on it, right?" the girl chuckled, not backing down or seeming the least bit bothered by Faith's stare. If anything, she almost seemed to enjoy it as she leaned her elbow casually on the shelf behind her. "Don't get all bent out of shape, kid, it's nothing to me. Believe me, I'm far from appalled. I'm just giving you a little tip here. Obviously you haven't been doing this too long, so I thought I'd help you out."

"I don't' need your help," Faith said quickly and rather rudely, almost through her teeth, but the other girl ignored that, continuing like she had never said a word.

"First off, don't go for the chips. They're big, bulky, and they make too much noise- they crinkle," the girl instructed in the same low, throaty tone, looking into Faith's eyes so directly and deeply that Faith wanted to look away. She didn't dare to do so, to lose at what she saw as a challenge, and so instead she stared back, unbudging, into the older girl's eyes, not willing to be the first to look away. It crossed her mind that the girl might be trying to stab her or pick her pocket, and she redoubled her watching of her at that thought.

"What you do is get something small and noiseless. A candy bar, or a can of tuna or something," the girl continued, reaching to briefly touch the mentioned items, her eyes still locked on Faith's. "But you also shouldn't do it at a gas station. If you can help it. Dollar stores and grocery stores have way less security and visibility and way more aisles to blend into. Same with K-Mart. Wal-Mart has cameras, it's a little more risky. Now clothes are easy, thrift stores are a good place to swap and they'll never notice if you have the same jacket, you can even get bras and underwear sometimes. But the main thing is you can't look so sneaky about it. You have to be casual and fast. If you stand around looking at shit for two minutes everyone and their mother is gonna know exactly what you're up to."

Faith wanted to tell her she hadn't been about to take the chips, that they were a distraction. She wanted to tell her that she knew damn well how to steal by now and didn't need her advice. But instead Faith stared at the other girl, her eyes still narrowed, but she was looking her over more closely now, not just her face and hands but all of her. From the way she was talking, it sounded like she was used to taking things to get by, like Faith…like maybe, like Faith, she too spend her days living on the streets. The girl looked fairly clean, rather self-possessed in a way that didn't seem to be bluffing, but she did give off a certain vibe.

That didn't mean she wasn't up to something though. If anything it made it more likely that she was.

"Been doing this almost three months now and I'm not in jail yet, am I?" Faith said quietly but gruffly, still defiant, and the girl raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, kid, but how many times did you get caught and run out with the cops on your ass?"

Faith didn't reply, her jaw tightening; the answer was more times than she was happy with. Seeing this, the girl smiled, a little mocking, a little affectionate, and straightened.

"Thought so…come with me. Listen and lean and lose the lucky rabbit's foot way."

She casually slid an arm around Faith's shoulders and began to walk away; Faith stiffened, wary, but after an inward brief battle, gave in and followed. In spite of herself she was intrigued by this girl. What could it hurt anyway? Faith could take care of herself if she tried anything.

The store owner was eyeing them by now, but the girl simply turned her head and gave him a wide, sarcastic grin and cheery wave as they exited, her arm still casually encircling Faith's shoulders. Faith tensed again, expecting to be stopped, but he let them go without questions. What the hell… and this chick had drawn more attention to them than Faith would have too.

"Legs Sadovsky," the girl said in an almost confidential tone, her mouth turned towards Faith's ear as she continued to walk with her down the street, still touching her as if she had known her all her life and was quite accustomed to doing so. This partly irritated Faith, and yet she could not quite bring herself to pull away. "On the street on and off since I was 11. I'm 17 now so trust me, you can learn a lot from me in two minutes if you're smart enough to listen. I'd say you're about fifteen and been out less than a month, am I right?"

Faith had turned fourteen a couple of weeks ago and she had been gone from her "home" for nearly three months, but she shrugged, not bothering to correct her. It wasn't her business.

Seeing this, the girl- Legs, as she called herself- smiled, her voice casual. "Don't worry, I'm not giving you my whole life story or anything, and I don't want to hear yours either. You want to call yourself Flying Saucer, that's fine with me, you want me to keep calling you kid, that's cool too."

She shrugged, continuing to almost guide Faith down the street, and Faith hesitated before inwardly shrugging. What the hell did it matter, it wasn't like she was going to have her identity stolen. Who the hell would want it?

"Faith," she told her, and as they came into the parking lot of a Kroger's grocery store, Legs smiled as she casually touched her arm.

"Well, Faith, watch a pro in action."

"You know, I can get whatever I need whenever I need it, you're not telling me nothing I don't' already know," Faith said in renewed defiance as they entered the store, but Legs ignored her, simply beginning to narrate as if she hadn't heard her at all.

"First thing, Faith, always check for free samples. Those are legal and who's gonna stop you from getting some, especially if you're a hot skinny girl?" She looked her over critically for a second and grinned. "You meet that criteria all right. Cookies and donuts and candy are a good bet too, they're right there in the open with no one watching them. You can eat them fast and bingo, breakfast."

Faith had taken samples before but it had never occurred to her to simply take the cookies or donuts and blatantly eat them in the store. Feeling stupid that this Legs girl actually had given her a tip, she rolled her eyes anyway and pretended she was totally bored as Legs continued to lead her down aisles at a rapid clip.

"Second off, nothing crinkly like chips or anything. But something that is a good plan? Get a shopping cart and take your time going up and down aisles, looking like you're actually planning to buy stuff. Put a bunch of shit in your cart, and while you're going, open some of the packages and eat the stuff inside. Then just leave the cart in the back of the store somewhere. Now there are stuff you can fit in your pockets or pants, but that's mostly the smaller stuff, little cans, candy bars, shit like that, the stuff you've already been stealing I bet. But look, if you act cool enough, you can have whatever you want just about. Just eat it along the way. I come here for meals all the time. Damn, if you really want you can even sneak a tv dinner over to the microwave in the food area, who ever actually watches that stuff?"

Getting a buggy, Legs began to demonstrate, casually walking down the aisles and putting things in the cart while carrying on a conversation totally unrelated to stealing. She didn't expect Faith to take up her part of it and Faith didn't, simply following her, eyeing her with some continued apprehension. As Faith watched, Legs almost imperceptibly opened several packages, sneaking cookies, chips, grapes, dried fruit, cereal, and snack bars into her mouth and eating quickly as she continued to walk, never breaking stride. Faith could hardly believe that no one was watching her, but they weren't. And then Legs was handing her things too, so quickly and casually that Faith fumbled, looking around unable to help herself, before putting them in her mouth too.

By the time they reached the end of the grocery store and abandoned the cart and opened packages, Faith felt reasonably full for the first time that she could remember in some time and also had food in her jacket and pants, and she was still slightly awed that she had actually managed to take as much food as she had- without getting caught. As they walked outside the door she felt somewhat light, almost high, maybe from a sugar rush, maybe from exhilaration at getting away without anyone so much as blinking at an eye. Whatever it was, she found herself grinning at Legs, letting Legs smile back pleased with herself, and she didn't immediately make moves to leave her.

" I told you I had a better way," Legs said in obvious satisfaction, and she bumped her shoulder playfully against Faith's as they walked down the sidewalk before the store. "No reason to be hungry no matter where you are, Faith. So what do you think?"

"Pretty wicked," Faith admitted, still smiling a little, fingering the items inside her pocket before glancing over at her, not wary anymore so much as confused as to the other girl's motive for her kindness.

"So what's with this anyway?" she asked a few moments later, gathering her courage to do so in a casual tone, as if the answer didn't matter much. But she couldn't resist adding in a softer tone a beat later, "Why would you bother helping me out? What did you care if I got caught or not?"

Legs stopped walking and looked at her, one hand on her shoulder, and spoke with an intensity that made Faith stop and listen, her brow furrowing at the seriousness of Legs's expression.

"Because we're women, Faith, and women should stick together. That's what we're here for, to help each other out, have each other's backs, because the men sure as hell won't. Any man, first thing he's gonna do is try to tear you down, rip you out, and screw you over. I'm sure you know that by now. Men are just bastards, Faith…best if you just stay away, stick with your own kind."

Faith did know this…damn, did she know this. She found herself nodding slightly as thoughts of Steve, of Ronnie, of Kenny, of the guys she had slept with in the past few weeks whose names she didn't even know, of the guy who had tried to fuck her until she cut him, came to mind…of her father. She thought about them, even as she spoke up in a continued defensive manner.

"I can handle any man that comes around, Legs. Besides, what if I want him? Nothing you say's gonna convince me to sign up for nun school."

"Hell, I wasn't saying THAT," Legs snorted, giving her another playful nudge, and weird as it was to experience it, Faith kind of thought she was already getting to where she kind of liked when she did that. "Of course everyone's gotta screw…just make the bastard use a condom at least. Anyway it's cool as long as it's you and what you want. That's the way to go- use 'em and lose 'em before they even know what hit them. You're the one in control, and don't ever let any man forget it."

Faith smiled slowly as she nodded again. Her sentiments exactly…maybe this Legs chick had potential.


	2. Chapter 2

Before she knew it, the rest of the day had passed, and Faith had spent not a few minutes of its duration, not an hour, but the entire time with Legs Sadovsky- and found herself enjoying the time more and more. By the end of the day, she found herself agreeing to stick with her 'just for one night'- like Legs said, it was easier to sleep knowing someone else was there watching her back. When she awakened on the fire escape they had chosen to sleep at for the night to the sight of Legs's smiling face and felt her nudge her with her elbow, addressing her as Sleeping Beauty and informing her that she had kicked her in her sleep, Faith, as much as she knew that she probably should, felt no urge to take off on her.

One more day won't hurt, she told herself, I've got all the time I want or need. What's one more day?

She and Legs began the day scrounging for breakfast in the manner that Legs had demonstrated- nonchalantly taking "free" donuts and cookies from the closest grocery store and washing it down with small containers of milk that were casually replaced on the shelf as though they were full. After heading out to amuse themselves for the day, with Legs running a casual commentary as to the people they passed, seeming to recognize fully half of them- something Faith tried consciously not to do- Faith was not quite aware, yet not quite unaware, that she couldn't stop looking at Legs, taking in her animated features, her quick smile, and that for the first time she could remember in months, she was smiling too. She tried not to think too much about the quick thrill that shot through her when Legs casually touched her shoulder or linked her arm with hers, when she nudged her or reached out to tuck back a strand of loosed hair behind her ear. She tried not to let herself be aware of how much she enjoyed those seemingly thoughtless touches…how quickly she was used to them, even nearly looking for ways to invite them.

One more day stretched into two, then three, and before she knew it, two weeks had passed, and still there Legs was, and there Faith was with her. Faith could no longer find a reason to tell herself to move on, to stay distant, private, and unattached, to tell herself that anything else was dangerous and stupid. What the hell, she told herself. What was so great about going it alone anyway? Why not have someone else around? It doesn't mean I can't take care of myself…but hey, what's wrong with someone else watching my back too?

They quickly settled into a semi routine, or as close to one as teenaged homeless girls could reasonably and safely develop. Each morning they would awaken from whatever place they had chosen to sleep at the night before- they changed it daily, not wanting to be too conspicuous or predictable while in their most vulnerable physical states. They would hunt for a public restroom to wash up and brush their teeth, then head out for breakfast Legs-style. From then on it was anyone's guess- they might find themselves clothes at a thrift store, swapping out old for new, hang out at the park or library or free museums, find a way to sneak into a movie theater or skating rink, or simply walk, going for stolen meal sprees whenever they got hungry. If it was snowing, which it generally was, they might play in the snow for as long as they could stand it, making angels and small snowmen and shrieking aloud as they pelted each other with hard snowballs that stung almost as much as the cold on reddened, numbed hands. They went into the YMCA for showers, and having smuggled used bathing suits from thrift stores under their clothes, went swimming in the indoor pool nearly every day. Faith had wondered their first time how they would get in without a membership, but Legs, winking and proclaiming that she "had connections," had strolled inside, smiled at the attendant, and no one had challenged them. Faith already had walked with swaggering confidence, but now, when she was with Legs, it was becoming genuine, rather than a bluff needed to prove her competence.

Faith introduced Legs to comics in the Books A Million store, and they spent hours sometimes huddled on the floor in front of the magazine racks, paging through the latest editions of Batman, X-Men, and Nick Fury. They played hide and seek in graveyards like unafraid six-year-olds in the middle of the day, laughing and shoving each other as they unabashedly trod over graves and hurtled over headstones. At night they slept curled on their sides, turned away from each other, their spines touching, literally watching the other girl's back, but several times Faith awakened to find that one or the other had rolled over and now lay with her head pillowed on the other's shoulders, her arm casually encircling her waist. And just once, Legs showed Faith how to break into the YMCA after hours.

"It's all about the roofworks," Legs instructed as she hoisted Faith with her hands up onto the YMCA's back windowsill, watching carefully as Faith pulled herself the rest of the way up onto the roof. Balanced on the dumpster lid behind her, Legs waited until Faith was settled on the rooftop, looking down at her, before pulling herself up onto the windowsill with a might leap and sheer upper body strength that Faith was awed by. As Faith reached for her hands and wrists, helping to pull her the rest of the way up, Legs grinned, catching her breath, before standing and turning around in a slow circle, surveying the night sky above.  
"Nice view, huh?"

"So what, you do this all the time?" Faith asked, her eyes following Legs's gaze; she liked the feeling of being up so high, of looking down and feeling on top of the rest of life below her. "Climb onto rooftops and break in?"

"Yeah, sometimes," Legs shrugged, "sometimes I just sleep on the roof, safer up there. Cooler too, especially in the summer…look, over there, see that?"

Faith watched as Legs carefully opened a section of the roof that would have not even occurred to most teenage girls as existing individually of the rest; as Legs looked down into the semi hole she had made, Faith joined her, noticing that it opened into what looked like the inside of the roof. Without further ado Legs dangled her legs over the side, measuring the drop mentally as she motioned Faith over.

"You drop down inside, and you can always move a section of the roof…the ceiling in this building isn't that high so it's not that far a drop, and I'm sure we can find a way to get back up somehow. They might know we got in when they come inside in the morning, but who cares, right? I did this a thousand times back in high school….here, you go down first."

Glancing at her quickly, but nevertheless game, Faith dropped down into the hole, landing with a loud thump on her feet. Catching herself quickly, she glanced up at Legs, who easily dropped down beside her with a muffled lap, clapping her on the shoulder.

"Work on the landing, babe… alright, yeah, look, over there."

Within a few minutes Legs had worked a section of the lower part of the ceiling open, and within a few more, she and Faith had both eased their ways down to the floor below. Alone in the darkened building, the ceiling a gaping hole above their heads, Faith's heart raced with excitement, and she could not contain her smile.

She began to walk towards the pool room, giving Legs a little shove and taking off, knowing that the other girl would not be able to keep herself from giving chase. With Legs on her heels, Faith ran, her feet slapping the tile floor and echoing in the empty darkness of the building's interior. She was laughing by the time they reached the pool room, flipping on the light, and as Legs came up behind her, she turned to her with a slow, wicked grin as a sudden and irresistible thought came to mind.

"Dare you to skinny dip."

As she had predicted, Legs just grinned, one dark eyebrow shooting up, and without a second's pause or one word of protest stripped, tossing her clothes behind her on the floor. She stood there for one moment, cocking her hip, still not speaking, as if giving Faith a moment to decide if she liked what she saw, and Faith found her eyes travelling up and down her long, slender form, not entirely against her will, and the thought that she damn well did like it immediately popped into her mind.

Before she could quite come up with a reaction, Legs had already made her move, running and throwing her arms over her head as she smoothly dived into the deepest end of the pool. Faith watched, holding her breath without quite realizing, her eyes glued to the other girl's form as she lazily propelled herself forward underwater before her head and bare shoulders finally broke surface. Her short hair darker than usual, slicked back with its dampness, water droplets clinging to her shoulders and breasts, Legs grinned as she treaded water, raising an eyebrow at Faith again. Again, Faith found herself eyeing the other girl's body with more than simple curiosity, an excitement that confused but did not disturb her stirring at her core.

"Come on in, babe, the water's fine," Legs called out, amusement in her tone, and she let her eyes slide up and down Faith's body as well with slow scrutiny. "You look a little overdressed though if you ask me."

Recognizing the challenge, Faith smirked. If Legs wanted her to join in, she damn well had no problem with it.

Stripping off her own clothes and tossing them on top of Legs's, Faith ran forward, leaping into the water not in a smooth, controlled dive, as Legs had, but in a lunge that was almost animal-like. As she had hoped, she collided straight into the other girls, pulling her underwater with her in a tangle of limbs and warm flesh, surrounded in cold water. Under the water the girls fought and pushed at each other, alternating between holding each other down and trying to break the surface, for several intensely competitive moments before they broke the surface, gasping, laughing, coughing, with Faith victoriously clinging to Leg's back.  
"Damn, you don't like to lose, do you?" Legs laughed, and Faith shook her head, her heart still pounding fast, not entirely because of the physical exertion. She was very aware of Leg's warm, wet skin against her chest and stomach, her legs around her waist, Legs's hands covering hers, the quickness of their heartbeats and shallow breaths, and she had to swallow hard, letting herself slide down Legs back and swim a slight distance away.

No, she didn't like to lose…and for the first time, it was beginning to dawn on her that she wouldn't want to lose what she had now. She wouldn't want to lose Legs.

Every night was different, and adventure all on its own. Sometimes Legs and Faith danced together, sneaking into clubs and bars, and sometimes simply in the park or the alley at night, with no music needed to keep them on beat. With Legs's hands on her waist, her pelvis moving in rhythm against Faith's, Faith heard nothing but the steady time of the music and the beating of her heart. When men watched them, aroused, and offered themselves up as their next partners, sometimes they separated, gratifying themselves with another, less able partner, whether in sexual movements or the act of sex itself. Sometimes, however, they lowered their eyes and smirked as they shot them down, much preferring to stay together.

It wasn't as often that Faith had sex with random boys or men now; she simply didn't feel a need or desire to as much. And even the times that she did, she found herself returning immediately after to Legs, still excited by the smallest touch that the other girl gave. One night, as the lay back, looking at the stars scattered over their heads with a contemplative nature unusual to them both, Legs had turned her head towards Faith and told her that she was her heart. Though her smile was teasing, affectionate, her tone had been edged with just enough seriousness that Faith could not think of a response- but she had felt her own heart begin to beat faster in nonverbal reply to the other girl's words. And one day, caught in an alley in a heavy storm, rather than attempting to find shelter, Legs grabbed Faith's hands in hers and danced, smiling widely, laughing, twirling, lifting Faith's arms above her head and clutching her close with joyous abandon. Faith laughed, dimples cutting deeply in her cheeks, and as their foreheads touched, Faith's sodden hair brushing Legs's shoulders, there was a moment where both girls stilled, knowing, expecting the kiss that was so close to the surface. But something in Faith panicked momentarily and she pulled away, releasing Legs's hand, and called out that they should find somewhere to stay for the day.

She told herself that she did not love Legs. She told herself that Legs did not love her. She told herself that it was temporary, that it would never last, and she knew that it was true.

Knowing it, however, was not quite enough to believe. Even if that was what she needed.


	3. Chapter 3

The night that changed everything Faith usually chooses to remember not for its beginning, but rather for the impact of the end. She tries to forget what lead up to it. She tries to forget Legs, as she tries to forget every other instance of good and security she ever had in her life, because to remember is just too confusing, too hard, too bittersweet…too painful. Given the choice between remembering good times and bad times, Faith would rather be amnesiac, because in her mind, they were one and the same once in the past. Remembering what you no longer had, wishing for its present existence in time, was every bit as painful as remembering tragedy. And once you lost the good in your life, didn't that amount to tragedy in the end?

She chose not to consciously recall, chose not to speak of it or remember, but that didn't mean she forgot.

She heard them before she was quite awake, a sudden sharp intake of breath beside her, an incoherent shout, before she was awake enough to open her eyes they were already upon her. She felt Legs jerking, huddled close beside her on the blanket behind the alley's dumpster, felt her being suddenly ripped away from her loose sleepy hold of her, and then they had her too, they were pulling her away, dragging up off of the alley floor.

Her eyes flying open, Faith started to scream, but a sweaty, meaty hand covered her mouth as the man holding her hard against him slammed her back against the wall, aggressively covering her much smaller body with his. Pinning her in place with his body, his other hand began to roam over her with rough touches and squeezes. Faith could hear his panting breaths, could see the glittering excitement in his eyes, could smell the rancid scent of his unwashed body, and for a moment she froze, fighting back memories, unable to think.

Then her eyes settled past him, where another man held Legs down on the ground, pinning her onto her back, his body over hers as he violently forced her to submit to his touch, his hand roaming under her loose shirt. She saw how Legs's features paled, tightening with a fear that Faith had never before witnessed, how Legs's eyes met hers with none of her accustomed confidence and self-assurance in her eyes…how Legs looked like a child, pleading for Faith's help. Faith saw this, and her heart twisted sharply, her stomach flipping…something broke inside her mind, as though an inner trigger had been fondled too closely, and she snapped.

Her eyes left Legs's, settling on the man holding her against the alley, and as he smiled, his mouth wide and nearly toothless, he saw them slowly change from dark brown to nearly black, her features hardening, growing almost feral with a rage that suddenly made him nervous enough to gulp and wonder for just a moment if maybe this was the wrong girl to mess with. Within moments he was to be decidedly assured of the correctness of this thought.

Faith's knee shot up, catching the man squarely in the groin; as his eyes popped and his hands immediately released her, and he doubled over, squawking in pain, she shoved him away from her and kicked him in the face, shoving him to the floor. Smashing her fist into his face repeatedly, not even feeling the pain of her knuckles splitting on his teeth, the blood dripping down her hand and arm, she kicked him repeatedly in the gut, in the testicles, in the mouth and face and nose, a wild raging fury lending strength and power to the motions that the scrawny fourteen-year-old did not normally possess. Her eyes skittering to find part of a broken pipe on the alley floor near the dumpster, she snatched it up, bashing the man hard once more in the teeth, leaving him sobbing without words on the floor, dry heaving, before she ran over to Legs, clutching the pipe in her hand.

The man who had been on Legs had already shoved her away, was scrambling to his feet to defend himself against the very child he had intended to attack, but Faith was more than ready for him. She swung the pipe like a baseball bat, hitting him repeatedly with all her strength and then some, everywhere she could reach, reveling in the sound of crunching bones, of choking splutters, of high pitched squeals. Someone was screaming, shouting her name, shouting for her to stop, and she didn't realize for several moments that it was Legs; still she could not stop. When the man hit the floor, when his eyes rolled back in his head and he lost consciousness, when a stain darkened the front of his dirty pants, she could not stop. Someone else was screaming now and it was only dimly that she realized that it was her; someone was running, the footsteps loud and heavy, echoing, but this did not register. It wasn't until more footsteps came, until a loud voice was calling out and hands were seizing her arms, that she felt herself begin to shake, so violently that the restraining hands had to keep her from falling, and as her eyes opened wide, finally taking in the sight of the police officer holding her, she realized just before she fainted that Legs was gone.

She didn't care, when she regained consciousness, that she was in a holding cell. She didn't care that she would undoubtedly be imprisoned, that she had probably come close to killing the man who had been attacking Legs, or maybe even the man who had attacked her. She didn't care that she had likely been found out to be a runaway, that she would likely have to go back to living with her father, if she was ever allowed out of jail at all. Faith could not bring herself to think that any of this mattered. All that she could think about as she sat waiting for the police to return to once more bring her to the interrogation room was that Legs was gone. Legs was gone, she had run, she had left her, and Faith would never see her again.

Had she been afraid of her? What had she thought, what had she felt when she saw Faith…what did she think of her now?

Legs, the girl who had always emphasized being strong and independent, Legs, who had always told her that women should look out for each other against the men, should stick together and watch each other's back… Legs had run away. Legs had left.

Either Legs was like all the others, like the men, and she didn't care, didn't have the loyalty to stick with Faith no matter what, to accept her and care for her no matter how bad it got or what she did…or else Faith was so terrible, so wrong, so totally fucked up, that even Legs could not stand to stay with her, to support her. And Faith did not know at all which was the truth.

The police tried to question her, when she was deemed clearly awake and rational. Faith would not answer. What answer could she give? They were grown men, attacking teenage girls- attacking Legs- but it didn't matter why she did it in their eyes, she was sure. It didn't matter what she said or did, only who she was in their eyes, and it was over before it even began. This was her life.

At least she would have a place to sleep every night, a steady source of food. As the day passed, she began to think that maybe this was the best she could hope for.

When the police officers came once again to escort her into the interrogation room towards the end of the day, Faith expected to be questioned once more and prepared herself, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. To her surprise, there was a woman seated already across from her at the table, a woman who did not in the least look like a cop, and the cops escorting her did not stay, but rather dropped her off in the room and went to stand outside it. The woman was in her early forties, with dark hair and penetrating blue eyes, and dressed in what looked like an expensive tweed pantsuit. As Faith looked at her blankly, neither understanding or caring why she was there, the woman looked her over with a slight frown, but also something more puzzling in her eyes before she nodded at her slightly, extending her hand to Faith. Faith did not take it, entirely confused.

"Hello, Faith, I am Professor Diana Dormer. I have been sent by the Watcher's Council to undertake your case." She had a British accent, and this was weird too.

When Faith continued to stare incomprehensively at her, ignoring her proffered hand, the woman's lips twisted slightly in almost but not quite a smile.

"When one offers her hand, Faith, it usually is meant that the other person will close her fingers around it and shake."

"What do you mean, Watcher's Council, you've been watching me?" Faith blurted, breaking her earlier determination to not speak a word in this room, under these authority figures. "What are you, the FBI?"

"Not quite," the woman smiled more fully now, and she dropped her hand, allowing, this time, for Faith to ignore the request. "Although it does sometimes feel as if that were so in some ways. We have, however, been watching you for some time- though in my opinion, not long or closely enough," she muttered under her breath, frowning to herself, though Faith got the feeling that it was someone else and not herself that the woman was displeased with…and what the hell did that mean?

"What the…what, are you a lawyer or something, a social worker?" Faith blurted again, frowning heavily now, staring at the woman with her eyes narrowing in bewilderment, but also wariness. None of this sounded right at all…what the hell was going on, was this some kind of trick, a way to get her to confess to something?

"I don't care who you are," she said defiantly, "I don't care about anything. You can't make me say or do anything, because I don't care."

"I am not a lawyer, Faith, nor a social worker, nor a police officer, nor anything else you have probably considered," the woman said quietly, continuing to look into Faith's eyes. "I am your guardian, Faith, and I've come to take you home."

With everything Faith had been considering, that scenario had certainly not been one of them. Her mouth dropped, and she heard something like a squawk emerge from her mouth before her one blurted word.

"WHAT?"

"I understand things have been difficult-" the woman- Diana Dormer- began, and Faith interrupted her quickly, her voice rising, one hand held out.

"No you understand shit, lady, you understand SHIT about me and anything about me, so why don't you tell me what the hell is going on?"

Diana Dormer looked at her with faint disapproval, her mouth thinning, but there was something soft in her eyes…something like compassion….as she replied quietly, not backing away from Faith's almost aggressive stare.

"I understand that you are a potential Slayer, Faith. I understand that you are a special and extraordinary woman that may one day have the world and its fate resting on her shoulders. I understand that you are now my charge and that you will now receive the care and training you have lacked all of your life. Anything else you will have to teach me yourself. Now, do you have any questions?"

Ten thousand came to mind, but all Faith could do was stare. Because as insane as this woman sounded…she really sounded like she was telling the truth.

A potential Slayer…well, it had to beat jailbird or street rat, didn't' it?

"Yeah…what the hell is a Slayer?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Faith slumped down slightly in the comfortable, very new, and very clean upholstered passenger seat of the black Lexus, a car of the likes that she had rarely seen in person before, let alone been asked to ride inside, clad in dirty thrice-worn clothing and all. Although her fingers lay motionless on her legs, tightly gripping her knees, and she did not bounce her legs restlessly by the balls of her toes, her eyes darted periodically, not quite able to settle as to whether they should be pointed in the direction of the window, out the windshield, at her lap, or to the form of the woman seated beside her behind the wheel. She shifted her weight, glancing at the woman quickly again as her mind ran with unchecked disbelieving thought.

This was all still so unreal. It seemed to her that one minute she had been peacefully sleeping with Legs curled at her side, and everything had been okay, even good. Okay, sure, she was sleeping behind a dumpster in February in Boston, and she couldn't let herself or Legs sleep for more than a couple of hours before they had to wake up and move around so they wouldn't freeze to death. Sure, she had to steal for food and shower in the gym and sleep with a switchblade to protect herself. Sure, she was only 14 and had no money, no birth certificate, no home, and no way short of prostitution, panhandling, or stealing of ever making a living for herself. And sure, she and Legs both constantly had colds, being and sleeping outside in the bitter Boston weather so often. But it hadn't mattered to Faith- none of that had been important. She was getting along, even thriving, and she was fine- better than fine. She was happy. She and Legs had each other's back, so she was happy.

Then one morning, one ten minute stretch of violence had changed everything, and here Faith was… arrested, jailed, separated from Legs, probably for forever, and now, out on bail, sitting in the swanky car of a middle-aged British woman who called herself a Watcher and informed Faith that she, Faith the Failure, Faith the Fuck Up, Faith the Federal Headcase, was some kind of important super hero… that she was a vampire slayer.

Well, not exactly that she was one, not yet, anyway. The Watcher woman- Diana, she had said her name was Professor Diana Dormer- had said that Slayers were usually "called" at age fifteen, that it was rare for them to become "chosen" at a younger age than that, or an older age than seventeen. But Faith could be one. Any day, at any time, especially between the ages of fifteen and seventeen, she could be called. Everything that she was- a freak, a loser, an unwanted, unloved, unnecessary bitch who had never done anything right in her life and had been told repeatedly that she should never have been born… all of it would be done away with, all of it would be gone, if she were ever to become a Slayer. Instead she would be needed, respected, admired, feared…and as hard a time as she was having believing it, Faith wanted it.

Professor Dormer's words to her in the jail's interrogation room kept replaying in Faith's head like a looped video track, the earnest intensity of her expression a continued visual in her mind. There was one Slayer in every generation, she had said…one girl chosen to fight off the monsters and vampires that FAith had never before even believed existed. It all sounded so ridiculous, so much so that Faith had blurted out incredulously that the woman must be high or insane. But she had been very serious, and the array of files, ancient scary-looking books, and photos of some of the ugliest rat-faced things Faith had ever seen before weakened her disbelief just a little. Unless this was the biggest hoax or trap Faith could ever dream of- and she hadn't entirely ruled that out as a possibility yet- this Dormer woman was for real…or so she thought, anyway.

And now here she was, bailed out of jail for who knows what huge sum of money, in the car with a stranger, one with a British accent and way too school marmish of a vibe…and this woman said she was taking Faith to live with her in New York, that she was going to take care of her now…that she was Faith's guardian. Faith could not even begin to understand how this had happened.

She sniffled, clearing her throat quickly, and hoped her nose wasn't going to start running as she glanced over at the woman again, scrutinizing her expression and appearance for the hundredth time in silence, eyes narrowed slightly. Diana Dormer was probably in her early forties, with medium length brown hair pulled into a bun and startling pale eyes. She was dressed in a tweed pantsuit and looked to Faith to be very stuffy and very, very British…why the hell would she want HER? Was it just this duty thing that went with the Watcher gig she had eluded to? This meant that Faith was even more in her debt than she was already for the bail, that Faith owed her something, and Faith hated that.

The woman had tried to talk with her a few times, but Faith had kept her answers as short as possible, partly from a continued sense of shock as to her situation and a resulting lack of ability to pull her thoughts together very coherently, and partly because she was still too wary of her to want her to know too much about her. Professor Diana Dormer seemed to sense this and so allowed silence to fall between them, not pushing Faith to speak, as she drove her towards what she had stated was her, now THEIR, home in New York.

Still watching her subtly, sneaking glances when she thought she wasn't looking, Faith sniffed again, trying to quietly clear her throat. It had been sore for days, along with coughing and a runny nose; Legs had had the same, and they had shrugged it off as another cold or mild virus, nothing major. Still, it was irritating; some of the aches of her body and the weariness of her bones Faith could attribute to stress and the extremely physical confrontation she had taken part in earlier in the day, but not all. Plus, if she had to wipe her nose on her sleeve in front of this rich woman in her rich woman car…Faith wasn't really sure why it bothered her to think of that, but it did.

Legs wouldn't have cared. But then, Legs would never have been in this situation. Legs would never have let herself be caught by the police. Legs had run.

Faith's jaw tensed at the thought of Legs, and she desperately attempted to redirect her mind from the pain that compressed her chest as a result. As she was concentrating, her throat choked, and for a second she tensed, preparing to stifle a cough. She had misjudged, however, and instead she sneezed loudly, twice.

"There are tissues in the glovebox," the woman, Diana Dormer, said quietly, and Faith reached to open it without looking at her, her ears reddening, to her own self-disgust. What did she care what the woman thought of her?

She sneezed again, into the tissue this time, and blew her nose, then clinched her jaw, turning her face towards the window. She felt for some reason like she should apologize, but that in turn made her feel even more stupid for thinking she should do so. Professor Dormer was quiet for a few minutes, but Faith felt her eyes on her briefly and knew the woman was appraising her.

"I suppose anyone would become ill, sleeping under the conditions that you have been," she said quietly, and though her words were neutral, Faith's eyes shifted to her quickly, attempting to discern whether it was disgust, lecturing, pity, or sympathy in her tone. It was difficult for her to tell. "Tomorrow, Faith, you will undergo a full physical to make sure that steps will be taken to make you as strong and healthy as possible. For tonight you can take some vitamin C supplements, some form of relieving medication, and then I suppose starting you on regular, nourishing, and well-balanced meals will help as well."

Faith had outright stared at her at that statement; though the words had not been spoken in what one might think of as a motherly tone, the words themselves were to her ears a shock to her system. She could not fathom why this woman was acting like she cared. Duty or not, she hadn't had to bail her out of jail- she hadn't had to do any of this, and she certainly hadn't had to care about her having a freaking cold. It wasn't like she was dying. Whatever the woman said by way of explanation, Faith found this to be totally inexplicable. And despite all of the woman's words to her at the jail, about fate and duty and what a freaking special girl Faith was- something Faith flatly refused to accept as true, regardless of what freaky fortune she may or may not have- despite any of this, Faith was still wondering what the catch was…and the nearer they drew to what this woman claimed was her home, the more apprehensive she grew. She expected almost fully to pull into an orphanage, prison, juvenile center, or brothel- any of the above would make more sense than a British woman she'd never seen in her life before proclaiming that she was maybe a superhero and that she wanted to basically adopt her as her much less plucky and winsome orphan Annie substitute.

Perhaps the woman- Faith still wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to be calling her, but she sure as hell wouldn't be calling her Mom even if she had just basically adopted her- could sense Faith's line of thought or see it in her face, because she looked over at her with a slight smile. It looked to Faith a little weird, like it was genuine but somewhat strained, like maybe she was sort of uncomfortable too. Whether that was because she was British and had a stick up her ass like most of that group, wasn't used to being around teenagers, or just didn't like having a scruffy, literally snotty 14-year-old who'd been arrested for practically beating a couple of grown men to death sitting in her fancy clean car and coming home with her was anyone's guess. Faith couldn't blame her for carrying any of those reasons; they were all pretty valid.

She hoped she didn't smell or anything; she hadn't been able to take a shower since the day before. Then she wondered why she cared; she was the one who didn't know what she was getting into here, while Professor Diana Dormer seemed to hold all the answers.

"I know that all of this must be quite bewildering to you," the woman said quietly, occasionally glancing over to watch Faith before turning her eyes back to the road. "Today has been quite the day of change for you, hasn't it?"

Faith let her shoulders twitch into a shrug; she couldn't have explained why, but she felt that it was important, at least for today, at least until she got a better understanding of the exact situation, that she talk and respond as little as possible to the woman. Still holding the balled-up tissue in her hand, she tried to wipe her nose again discreetly, turning her face and hoping the woman didn't see. When she made no verbal reply, Professor Dormer sighed slightly, speaking again a few moments later.

"I am certain you must be tired, and you are clearly unwell also."

Shit, so she probably had noticed that Faith's nose was still leaking like a damn faucet.

"I imagine it would be somewhat intimidating as well, for a young girl to find herself-"

"I'm not afraid of you or anything you think you could do to me," Faith said quickly, unable to let that comment go by in silence, and she turned her head hurriedly to eye the woman with narrow-eyed wariness, not wanting her to view her as anything less than unflappably unfrightened, as totally collectd and uninterested…even though her mouth was dry, her heart knocking too quickly in her chest for her comfort. The woman continued smoothly, as if she had expected this response.

"I am glad to hear that, Faith, because no Slayer should fear her Watcher. It is our job to guide her and teach her, to care for her and about her, and if there is any fear in the relationship at all, it should be the Watcher fearing FOR her Slayer- but not so much that he or she hinders her in her growth or duty. You see, Faith, whenever there is fear in a relationship of any kind, there can be no trust. It is trust above all else that should exist between a Slayer – or potential Slayer- and her Watcher…or between a young woman and her guardian."

She paused for a few moments, her eyes sliding over to regard Faith once again, and then said quietly, "It is my hope, Faith, that such trust will eventually be founded between us. I understand it will take time and effort on both our parts, and I realize with the…difficulties…in your life that you have doubtless encountered, it will not be easy. But I do hope that you will eventually understand and believe that I will always care for you as much as I am able to- and that is not strictly out of duty of my position."

As if realizing what a speech she had made and perhaps slightly embarrassed of the sincerity in her words and tone, Professor Dormer returned her attention to the road, allowing silence to settle between them. Faith frowned slightly, her words sticking with some discomfort in her mind. She didn't know how to respond, so she said nothing, turning her head to watch out the window, letting the outside world blur past her as they passed. She had sounded genuine, but then, even when people really meant what they said, or thought they did, that didn't mean that it would happen. Faith more than anyone knew that.

She wanted to lean her head back, to curl her legs up on the seat and close her eyes, but she didn't dare. She would not let herself be less than totally alert. Instead she continued to stare out the window, letting her mind run with thought and hurriedly pushing aside any unwelcome ones that occurred, and Faith waited, dreading yet also somewhat curious as to what was to come.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

When they had crossed into the New York state, then settled into the outskirts of the city, Faith watched the neighborhoods they were passing with the same tight, slightly bitter feeling in her chest she always experienced when she had on rare occasions passed the wealthier sections of town back in Boston, the partly scathing, partly envious feelings coming to her that always caused her to quickly think to herself that no one but show offs and snobs needed that much space to spread their shit around in.

She expected to pass through quickly enough before settling into wherever they were headed. She was thrown off at first when Professor Dormer pulled her car into the driveway of a large white house with a long front porch, a few steps leaning up onto it, and several windows, a house slightly off from the other neighborhoods, set aside on its own in relative privacy- a house that Faith vaguely thought she had seen in a similar style on TV once or twice, that had been referred to as Tuvor or Tudor or something. And then when the realization began to dawn, she sat up straight, her eyes widening, her mouth falling open before she could catch herself.

THIS was where Professor Dormer lived- THIS was her supposed new home? Compared to what Faith had had in Boston, even when she wasn't homeless, it was a fucking castle!

"Here we are," Professor Dormer said as she opened the garage door with a remote control- something else that made Faith blink in shock- and parked the car inside, turning off the ignition and turning to Faith. "Your new place of address."

"Are you a freakin' millionaire or something?" Faith blurted, unable to stop herself, and Professor Dormer laughed, seeming to find her serious question quite amusing.

"Not by any means, but I do have a comfortable house."

Comfortable? Faith thought incredulously, barely able to stop herself from yelping the words out loud. The woman lived in a freaking mansion, practically, at least by Faith's standards.

Seeing the look on the girl's face, Professor Dormer smiled, paused, and ever so briefly touched Faith's shoulder as Faith walked forward, still staring at the house before her, the house that for the moment at least was apparently to be her home. Although the woman withdrew her hand quickly, perhaps uncertain as to whether Faith would want or allow any sort of intimacy even so briefly, perhaps simply feeling awkward in her interaction with her, Faith still tensed, startled and quickly on guard, looking over at her quickly. Professor Dormer paused, seeming to be examining her expression, before she very lightly and quickly touched Faith's shoulder again.

"Let me show you where everything is before you see your bedroom, Faith."

Eyeing Professor Dormer's hand, even though it had returned to her side and had not touched her for longer than a second or two, Faith nodded somewhat jerkily before following her inside. She had no possessions with her but the clothes on her back, and so there was nothing for them to carry in. She had left her bag back in the alley when she and Legs had been attacked. Either someone else had taken it by now, or Legs had had the presence of mind to grab it when she ran-

Jerking her mind abruptly away from any such thoughts of Legs, the morning and the attack, and her friend's current whereabouts, Faith focused her mind firmly on what lay ahead of her. If this was the outside of the place, she couldn't even imagine the inside.

"This is the living area, of course," Professor Dormer was saying as she led Faith down the entrance area of her home and gestured inside a doorway to their left. "Through there is the kitchen and dining room, and as this is now your home, you are welcome to eat and drink whenever and whatever you like that is here. I dare say you must be hungry."

Faith had actually not thought about food or eating the entire day, nor had she eaten what the jail had provided for her; she had been so stressed and confused that she had felt no hunger. But now that Professor Dormer spoke of it she became aware of a sharp pang in her stomach and knew that if the woman was for real, she was going to have to take her up on the food offer as soon as the tour guide routine let up.

"Your training room is in the basement, and your meditation room is here…this is the library, my study, the laundry room, a spare bathroom and bedroom, and the exercise equipment room," Professor Dormer continued to narrate, opening each of the doors to the mentioned rooms and gesturing for Faith to look inside.

The more Faith saw, the more disbelieving she was…how could this actually be somewhere that she was going to live, this nice place with obviously expensive décor and equipment? With each new room she saw, all she could think was where was the catch…what would she have to do to keep it, to earn it?

"And here is your bedroom," Professor Dormer concluded, "You have your own bathroom attached, There are towels and toiletries inside for you, if you would like to shower before dinner…I am sure you would like some time alone in order to settle in. There is clothing for you as well, in the dresser drawers and closet, to change into after. I am afraid that I did not purchase much as I was not certain of your particular sizes or tastes, but perhaps tomorrow we can see about selecting you more suitable items. Of course, as the room is yours, you may redecorate it as you may wish to."

She gave Faith a quick smile and nod before backing up towards the door, leaving her standing still in the middle of her new bedroom, nearly gawking.

"I will leave you be for the moment, Faith, and give you space to settle, as I said. If you need something or are ready for dinner, come find me in the kitchen or the study."

With that she walked off, gently closing the door behind her, and Faith blinked, shaking her head, and then impulsively pinched herself savagely. The resulting red mark and pain informed her that all of this was indeed true.

The room that Faith had just been told was hers was larger than her old room in her parents' trailer, their kitchen, and their living room all put together. She turned in a slow circle, taking in the sight of the large window, the obviously new and well-crafted dresser, nightstand, desk, and shelf, and the full length mirror across from her dresser. The bed was queen sized, and as Faith sat up slowly, she could immediately tell it would be very comfortable. Still somewhat dazed, she stood up slowly and walked to the dresser, opening the drawers, and found the top few to be stocked with sports bras and underwear, the next few to contain sweat pants and simple tank tops. As she opened the closet door, revealing a walk-in with several shirts, jackets, and shoes that looked approximately her size, Faith fingered a black vinyl jacket slowly, feeling her throat choke. She told herself that it was because of her cold and cleared her throat quickly, blinking her eyes.

As long as this was here, she better take advantage for as long as she could. No doubt it would all blow up in her face soon enough somehow, so there was no use going all around mooning over everything. All that shit Professor Dormer had said in the car about trust and caring…well, Faith knew better, that was all. Especially now….after Legs, she was-

No. Not Legs. Not going there.

Walking into the bathroom adjoined to the room, Faith drew in her breath, eyeing its small but very clean interior. She was used to public bathrooms, and she felt self-conscious and a little weird to use this one, to have one entirely hers, like she would ruin it with her dirty clothes and body. Somewhat awkwardly, even though no one was around to watch and Professor Dormer had said nothing in the least to criticize her, Faith slipped out of her clothes, trying to ball them up to make them as small as possible on the floor to leave as little dirt as she could. As she adjusted the shower head and stepped into the shower, she closed her eyes at the sudden warmth of the water on her skin, shivering and coughing briefly, and then simply stood, enjoying the sensation so intensely she was momentarily frozen. As Faith finally began to move to wash herself, her gestures were slow and clumsy, as if she were melting inside; how could a non public shower, just a simple shower, feel so good?

Faith took nearly an hour before she emerged from the shower. When she had selected some of the clothes Professor Dormer had left for her and began to dry and comb her hair with one of the several items that had been left for her in the bathroom, she heard a quiet knock at the door of the bedroom and turned her head quickly.

"Yeah?" she asked warily.

"Dinner will be ready shortly, if you are prepared to eat," came Professor Dormer's voice from the other side of the door, and Faith's stomach twisted sharply with her hunger almost as if in response to her words. "I also have some items you may wish to take before eating, if you wish, Faith."

The woman had not exactly asked for permission to enter the room, nor, thankfully, had she simply burst in there; nevertheless, Faith knew that she was asking without actually asking to come in, and besides, she was curious what items she was talking about.

"Uh, right," she said in reply, a little more gruffly than she'd intended, and then a little more uncertainly, "you can come in."

The door opened, and Professor Dormer gave her a brief smile before holding out various items in her hands. As she set them on top of Faith's dresser, Faith saw that Benadryl, Robitussin, a bottle of water, and a box of what looked like Vitamin C in powder form was among them. Damn, it was like she was in a freaking hospital or something… did she really look that bad, or did the British just go overboard in a big way with everything?

She glanced at herself quickly in the mirror and though she had of course looked at herself briefly earlier, while dressing and drying her hair, looking at herself again with Professor Dormer in the room was like looking at a stranger, a stranger Faith would have likely averted her eyes from quickly, torn between pity and disgust. She looked very thin, standing there in her baggy new tank top and sweats, the waistband of the sweats barely staying in place on her narrow hips and sagging rather low to reveal her hipbones, which were as prominent as her collar bone. Faith unconsciously set her jaw at the sight. Her hair was still tangled and damp from the shower and her face seemed pale, and the bruises marring her arms, the cuts splitting her knuckles were much more noticeable now, in this lighting of the bedroom. The tip of her nose was slightly pink, her eyes dark and shadowed, not as bright as usual in color. No wonder the woman was looking at her like that…she looked fucking sick, all right, and fucking pathetic, fucking YOUNG, much younger than Faith was comfortable with.

"You may use whatever you would like, and if there is something you would prefer instead or in addition, simply ask," Professor Dormer told her, "But I would like you to at least take the vitamin supplements, Faith. Come down to the dining room if you are ready for dinner."

And then she left, before Faith had a chance to snap back defensively that she could take care of herself perfectly well and didn't' need anything from her. As it was, as the door shut behind her, Faith glared at it for a few seconds, telling herself that she wouldn't take any of the items on the dresser, that she didn't need them. She wasn't a wuss, she didn't need them before and she didn't need them now.

A coughing fit less than two minutes later that left her choking for a few moments, her eyes watering, her throat raw with pain, made Faith rethink that stance begrudgingly. Okay, so it was like stealing, it wasn't any different from getting food or anything else she might need. She told herself that the medicine was not hers, and therefore she was stealing it, not accepting it, and somehow this made her feel marginally better about taking it. As she finally began to make her way down towards the dining room, Faith repeated to herself what she had been telling herself the moment she saw the house from the outside.

Don't get too comfortable…this isn't gonna last, any of it. Nothing like this could ever really last.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Faith could not remember as she looked down with involuntarily wide eyes at the dining room table when the last time was that she had seen so much food set out at once, let alone food that was intended for her. Well, for her and Professor Dormer, but still, all of this? For two people? If the woman ate like that all the time, how the hell was she not a humongous blimp?

There was chicken and peas, fries and green beans, corn and salad, rolls and what looked like fruit cocktail. Granted, most of the food was probably straight out of a can or bag- it would have to be, for Professor Dormer to have it ready in such a short time- but no way in hell would Faith complain. Against her own wishes to remain cool, she found herself coming forward quickly and slipping into a chair with her eyes never leaving the spread before her. She missed Professor Dormer's smile consequently, which was somewhat pleased, somewhat amused, but also holding a sadness as she watched Faith that Faith, reading it as pity, would have resented had she witnessed it.

"Serve yourself whatever you would like," Professor Dormer told her. Her own plate was already filled with very small portions of everything. "It's nothing fancy, but I am sure some of this will appeal to you."

Yeah, like every freaking thing she saw. Faith nodded quickly, beginning to pile food on her plate at a rather rapid rate; she was almost afraid that if she didn't get a lot and eat it fast, that it would all suddenly fade away from her and not be real at all. It crossed her mind as she almost gulped down her food that she was being pretty rude, although Professor Dormer did not say so and seemed to be pretending that it was perfectly usual for her to have guests that ate like a starving wolf pack. For another minute or so as Faith continued to eat rapidly she thought about this, struggling against the distrustful instinct to acknowledge no debts she might owe the woman and the equal instinct to at least show some sign of appreciation for something no one had offered her in…well, even with her home, back when she had claimed it, it had been rare for someone to cook something more elaborate than grilled cheese or spaghetti-os.

Guilt won out by a margin, and with only a fraction of her food remaining on her plate, Faith glanced over at Professor Dormer, nodded her head jerkily, and said with gruff difficulty, "Uh, thanks. For the food."

"You're quite welcome," Professor Dormer replied quietly. She was still eating, at a much slower and more even pace, and when Faith finished the rest of her food and shifted her weight in her chair restlessly, unable to resist eyeing the leftovers, she said to her, "Faith, as I said, you may eat whatever you wish to that is available for you in this house, as long as you don't make yourself sick doing so."

Faith took this as an invitation for seconds and didn't waste any time taking up on the offer. She tried to eat a little more slowly this time, but she still finished her second round just as Professor Dormer was finishing her first. As she sat there, shifting her weight again, blissfully full but now once again uncomfortable in the woman's presence, Professor Dormer spoke up again.

"Faith, if you are finished and wish to prepare for bed, feel free to do so. Tomorrow we can discuss what will be expected of you and make steps towards beginning a routine for your days, but I suspect too much information to take in for one day would be counterproductive. Of course, if you have any questions…but otherwise, if you wish to, you may go."

Faith definitely thought that sounded appealing- at least the excuse to escape, to give herself a reason to back away from the woman again. The sleep part wasn't so much- as tired as she was, and as full, she suspected that her mind would be too occupied and on guard to let herself drift off easily. Still, she started to stand, to walk towards the dining room as Professor Dormer had suggested.

But something made her pause just before the doorway, a nagging thought still relentlessly bludgeoning itself in her mind, and Professor Dormer observed her stopping, speaking up evenly.

"Faith? Is there something you want to say?"

Turning quickly to face her, the words emerging before Faith could think them through, too fast for her to take them back, she asked her, "Why are you doing this, for real? Is it all just that Watcher duty crap or what- why would you do all of this?"

For a few moments Professor Dormer simply regarded her, her expression difficult to read. Then she stood slowly, walking forward to stand in front of Faith in the doorway. Faith tensed, preparing to move away from any attempt she might make to touch or attack her, but the woman simply stood closer to her, looking her in the eye.

"I do, of course, have a duty to you, Faith, that I am obligated to fulfill. But I assure you that this duty is not simply that of a Watcher, but also that of an adult and a woman," she said, her eyes probing Faith's seriously so that Faith squirmed, wanting to look away, but not quite able to. "A duty that numerous others have failed you in fulfilling."

"So, what…this is some do-gooder guilt trip kind of thing?" Faith said suspiciously, her eyes narrowing, and Professor Dormer's voice was still quiet, but firm enough that she listened closely.

"I know that nothing I say will be something you will believe right away, Faith, but as I've said, I hope to prove myself to you one day, just as I have hope that you will prove yourself to me. We are both stepping out in faith here, and though I realize yours is the larger leap, there are doubts and fears to be overcome on both sides-"

"I said I wasn't afraid of you," Faith cut her off with defiant tone and lifted chin, though it pissed her off that her damn nose kind of weakened the effect by forcing her to sniffle two seconds later. Continuing to hold her gaze, Professor Dormer went on as if Faith had not spoken at all.

"So I will try to explain to you again what I will be for you, Faith. I am your guardian, yes, legally your parent figure and the one responsible for your well being in every sense of the word, and I do take that responsibility seriously. I am also your Watcher, and as such, I am here to train your mind, heart, and body, to prepare you to be the greatest of warriors. But although I am both of these things, and I will of course relate to you as my charge and as my Slayer, I will also wish to know you as more…to know you for yourself. To know you as Faith."

She continued to watch her steadily, seeming not at all discomfited by Faith's discomfort, and Faith tore her eyes away, rubbing at her arms and clearing her throat. She told herself that her sudden chill and the dryness of her throat, the heat behind her eyes, was due to her cold.

"You don't want to know me," she said roughly, "believe me, lady."

"I do," Professor Dormer countered, still keeping her eyes on Faith's averted face. "I do, Faith. But there is time yet."

When Faith did not respond, her heart pounding in wild uneven staccato in her chest as her thoughts stumbled with little connection over one another, Professor Dormer continued quietly.

"Faith, you may call me Professor Dormer if you would like for now. But if or when you feel comfortable doing so, you may call me Diana."

Faith wasn't touching that comment, not now. When she shrugged, Professor Dormer exhaled slightly.

"As I said, it's growing late, so if you wish to prepare for bed…"

"Yeah," Faith said quickly, nodding, glad for the reprieve from the conversation. "Yeah, better take off."

"Until the morning then," Professor Dormer said, her fingers pressing briefly against her neck as she gave Faith a quick smile…and again, very briefly touched her arm. "Good night to you, then, Faith."

Faith nodded, muttering a reply under her breath, before slowly turning towards the door. As she made her way towards the stairs, she swore she could still feel the faint pressure of Professor Dormer's hand on her arm.

"Best place in the world to be, up here," Legs said quietly, her hand moving out in careless gestures to indicate the surrounding darkness of the night sky. "Kinda feel connected, up this high, you know? More alive…more there."

She was standing on a flattened rooftop, facing out at Faith, her face upturned to watch the scattered stars winking above her. Her face was peaceful, relaxed, a gentle smile turning up the corners of her fll lips, the light night breeze ruffling through her short hair, and as she lowered her head slightly to look at Faith, Faith swallowed, her heart pounding.

"You were gone," she said in confusion, not yet moving towards her, not yet daring to look away. "You were gone…you came back?"

"Oh, I wasn't gone," Legs assured her, shaking her head, and she stretched, her movements casual, languid, and very, very hypnotic to watch before she scanned her eyes slowly up and down Faith's form, her smile widening. "Look at you, all dressed up in big sister's clothes."

Faith looked down at herself, then up at Legs, continuing to frown with confusion. She didn't see anything unusual about what she was wearing, nor was she wearing anything even closely resembling Legs's clothing. She took one slow step forward and then stopped, her brow furrowing, wanting to reach out to Legs, but fearing vaguely that somehow she would be unable to touch her, that Legs would prove to be transparent.

"You weren't here. You left, Legs."

"Does it matter?" Legs asked, shrugging, and she locked eyes intently with Faith, her voice softening. "Faith, I'll never really leave. Don't think about that now. Think about this. Think about now."

"They hurt you," Faith whispered. "They were going to-"

But Legs was walking towards her, and she put a finger over Faith's lips, shushing her gently as she stroked her hair with her other hand. Faith went still, a thrill running up her spine at Legs's touch and closeness, and Legs smiled, continuing to finger her hair.

"Nothing can hurt me. Nothing can hurt you. Don't you know that you're my heart, Faith?"

"Yes," Faith said quietly after a few moments of hesitation, her eyes still locked on Legs's. "Yes, I do."

"Then take it," Legs murmured, and she leaned close, cupping Faith's face; for one heady second Faith thought that Legs would kiss her, but she only remained close, staring unblinking into the other girl's eyes. "Take my heart."

Suddenly Legs removed her hand from Faith's face, plunging it inside her own chest with a sudden violence, and with a sickening squelching sound, extracted her own pulsating heart, dark, slick with blood, and the size of Faith's fist. As Faith gawked, eyes wide, Legs gently placed it in Faith's hand, smiling at her.

"Good…now can I have yours?"

Without waiting for consent, her still-bloodstained hand shot out, ripping through Faith's chest. Faith screamed, intense pain stabbing through her to her core, but Legs ignored this, continuing to grasp inside her chest roughly, tearing Faiths' skin open further with each thrust. Faith felt her fingers finally close triumphantly around her heart, squeezing so that she screamed again, and with a rough twist Legs ripped it out of her chest cavity, extracting her hand and waving her newest possession with glee as Faith struggled to breathe, to ride out the anguish she was experiencing with her still gaping chest cavity and now heartless chest.

"Thanks," Legs said with a smile, prodding the heart in her hand with one finger casually. "This is neat."

Unconsciously Faith's hand tightened around the heart in her own hand, causing fresh blood to pool onto the floor beside her; Legs seemed unaware of this and indeed seemed to feel no pain from her own chest as she backed away from Faith, towards the edge of the roof, and gave her a pleasant wave.

"Thanks, Faith…see you around…"

She turned abruptly and with perfect grace, dove into a swan dive, beginning to fall with rapid speed onto the street below. Faith screamed, her eyes bulging, and she ran forward, awkwardly holding her bleeding chest with one hand, Legs's heart in the other, but Legs was falling, she could never catch her, she could never stop her in time…

"NO! LEGS, NO, LEGS, LEGS, NOOO….LEGS! LEGS!"

Faith awakened mid-scream, the sound cutting off abruptly so that she choked, sending herself into a coughing fit so violent that tears streamed down her face- at least, that was what she quickly told herself later was the only reason possible for the tears. Struggling for breath, her heart thudding wildly, she tried to sit up, to get to her feet, only to realize that there was a light hand on her shoulder, another firmly rubbing her back as she continued to cough, and a soft but firm voice nearby speaking.

"Shhh…try to calm down, Faith, and the coughing will ease. Slow breaths…easy…"

For several seconds this unknown presence only panicked Faith, and she swung out her fist, intending to strike out at whatever was there, but another violent coughing fit made her drop her arm before she could swing it too forcefully, and the person caught her arm, gently lowering it back to her side for her and continuing to rub her back with continuous even pressure.

"Shh. It's all right. There we are," the voice continued softly, and as Faith's coughing tapered off and she was able to draw in shuddery breaths again, she finally recognized the voice as belonging to Professor Dormer.

This made her tense up all over again at the realization that the woman was in her bedroom, that she was touching her, had undoubtedly heard her and seen her screaming and then hacking her head off like an idiot, like a pansy-ass weak little girl, and she pulled away as quickly as she was able to, scooting back against the wall. As her eyes adjusted to the bright light from the lamp on her nightstand that apparently Professor Dormer had turned on when she came in, she saw that the woman seemed neither bothered nor surprised by her reaction and did not try to touch her again. Instead she reached for a glass of water that was also newly present at the nightstand and held it up for her. Faith eyed it warily for a few moments, not wanting to accept anything further from her or seem needy in any way, but as Professor Dormer continued to patiently extend it to her, she took it, drinking in uneven gulps.

"Slowly, Faith, you don't want to choke or vomit," Professor Dormer said quietly, and when Faith ignored her, she reached to take the glass away. Faith fixed a fierce glare on her, knowing her ears were red as intense embarrassment began to occupy her mind, but Professor Dormer ignored this too, scrutinizing her with clear concern.

"Are you injured?"

"What?" Faith asked, her voice rough, almost hostile, and Professor Dormer clarified.

"It sounded as if you were in distress, in your sleep, I suppose, and you have been speaking about something being the matter with your legs…was it a part of your dream, Faith, or are you injured?"

At first Faith stared at her, uncomprehending, but when the connection between Professor Dormer's assumption and the vivid details of the scene still playing itself in her mind clicked, she realized the woman's thoughts and shook her head harshly.

"No! I'm fine, five by fuckin' five, now get out, get out of here!"

"I realize that you are upset, Faith, but you might as well understand right now that you will not speak to me with such language," Professor Dormer said coolly, and when Faith opened her mouth to reply, something about the woman's eyes made her bite back what she had been about to say. The woman was serious, and though Faith wasn't sure why, something told her she shouldn't challenge her, not on this, at least not now.

She started to stand, to hurriedly move herself out of bed, but a hand caught her arm, lending firm pressure. Faith yanked her arm, attempting to rip it from Professor Dormer's grasp, but the woman managed to keep hold of her for a moment before letting go, her eyes still focused on Faith's face.

"Come find me in my study, if you wish," she said quietly. "Feel free to make yourself something in the kitchen as well. If not, then I will see you in the morning, and we can begin again tomorrow."

She stood, turning and making her way out the door, but not before first briefly touching Faith's shoulder again. Faith stared after her, feeling suddenly cold, and for a split second she almost wished that she could call out, ask her to come back. But instead she roughly shoved back her blankets and went into her bathroom, locking the door behind her. Two showers in one day sounded like exactly what she wanted right then.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(sorry it's so slow plotwise…this is going to be long and detailed)

By the time Faith returned to her bed, she was worn out to the point that she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep that lasted much longer than any other of the past few months. When she awakened it was nearly nine am; she was accustomed from sleeping outdoors to awakening as soon as the sun rose. Getting out of bed quickly and throwing the blankets half heartedly back up to her pillow, she made her way out of the room and towards the kitchen. Something told her that Professor Dormer was not one to sleep the day away. Faith wasn't sure why she cared, but she didn't want her to think that she was lazy.

She didn't want to think about what had happened the night before, when Professor Dormer had come into her room while she had been dreaming. Just the thought of how loudly she must have been calling out for the woman to have heard and been concerned enough to go to her made Faith grit her teeth in mortification. She must have looked so pathetic, so stupid, and it was a wonder that Professor Dormer hadn't changed her mind about having her around, decided to go back on her "duty" to her after all. Some damn Slayer Faith was going to be, some superhero- she wouldn't be surprised if Professor Dormer told her today that she'd made a mistake, that Faith wasn't really a potential Slayer after all.

The thought of it made Faith's chest feel tight with dread and anxiety in spite of herself. What if she did? No matter what she had tried to tell herself yesterday, Faith knew that she had already become too attached to the idea of everything that Professor Dormer was promising her. If it got taken away now, what would she have left?

She could smell the kitchen before she entered it, the scent of bacon and eggs immediately enjoyable to Faith so that she stopped for a moment, breathing it in slowly before continuing into the kitchen. Professor Dormer was seated fully dressed at the breakfast table with an old looking book and a cup of coffee, but when Faith entered the room she looked up and greeted her with a smile. Faith looked away, mumbling a reply, too embarrassed upon seeing her again to look her in the face, but unable to resist the smells of the food lingering in the air.

Professor Dormer gestured towards the stove, where a covered pan rested. "I kept eggs and bacon warm for you, Faith. There is milk, orange juice, and protein shakes in the refrigerator, toast and bagesl in the pantry, cereal in the cabinet. You may take what you wish."

As Faith began to make a plate for herself, Professor Dormer wordlessly placed a bottle of multi vitamins beside her place. Faith waited, even as she sat down and began to eat, avoiding the woman's eyes; she expected her to say something about the night before. But she did not, simply finishing her coffee and continuing to read in silence. She must have been watching Faith more carefully than Faith had thought, however, for only a few moments after she had finished Professor Dormer looked up at her.

"If you are finished, Faith, please take care of your plate and come with me into the living room."

Faith frowned, not sure what to make of this instruction, but nevertheless did as she was asked, albeit keeping a distance from her as she followed. As Professor Dormer gestured for her to sit, then sat near her in an armchair and turned her body fully to face her, she gave Faith a smile before beginning.

"As I said yesterday, I will make certain you understand what will be expected of you, Faith, both as my Slayer and as my ward. We are still a bit off the usual schedule of events for today, as I allowed you to sleep considerably later than you will most days in the future. But I suspected that the longer amount of sleep today took precedence over immediately beginning a schedule, and I of course wanted to first go over it with you before beginning."

Faith shrugged, but her mind was already clicking ahead of what was being said, wary in several directions. What was this about the schedule that she was talking about….they were going to have a schedule? What was this, school? She was a professor…

When Faith sneezed into her elbow, Professor Dormer gestured coolly to a box of tissues on the table beside her and continued to speak as if she had not been interrupted by the noise.

"Any person, Faith, should have a life of structure, schedule oriented, particularly when young, and especially one who has as much to learn as a potential Slayer does. You have been lacking order, regiment, and discipline, along with general care, which is also vitally important. I believe when you have the structure you have been lacking that you will find that you are much happier for it."

"You believe in Santa Claus too?" Faith muttered, thinking to herself that what Professor Dormer thought of as "structure" she thought of most likely as "suffocation" and "torture." Professor Dormer ignored her comment, continuing evenly.

"Today, Faith, you will undergo a full physical. As soon as possible you will also begin regular trips to the dentist, and today we will also see about selecting more suitable clothing for you. As for your usual daily routine, we will also begin a modified version of it today. After your physical today, if the doctor finds you to be well enough, you will run a mile for me on the track outside, which is in the backyard, and also swim laps in the pool. In time you will work up to two miles, and the goal is eventually as much as five. This of course depends on your rate of progress. Now, normally you would begin your run at 6:30 am-"

"Six thirty in the MORNING?" Faith cut her off incredulously, her eyes widening. "Are you serious? What the hell is this, boot camp?"

"Faith, another thing I expect from you, and I do believe I told you as much last night, is that you will not use profane language in my presence and particularly when speaking to me," Professor Dormer said in a voice neither loud nor angry, but nevertheless quite steely enough that Faith looked over at her quickly, nervous in spite of herself. "As for the early morning hours, you will soon find them to be normal and routine. This is not a punishment, Faith, but rather to benefit you. It is training."

"So, what, Slayers often go chase down vampires at the crack of dawn? Didn't you say they're allergic to sunlight?" Faith countered, balling the tissue she had taken earlier into her fist. "Why does a Slayer need to run anyway if she got super powers, all she has to do is turn around and fight and dust and kill."

"A Slayer needs stamina and endurance and discipline, Faith, all of which are obtained by running at an early hour, against one's desires to rest," Professor Dormer said calmly, but her eyes rested on Faith with some intent as she went on. "And you will learn, Faith, that sometimes running from danger is the wisest choice one can make as long as one knows where she is running to, even as a Slayer."

Faith's jaw tensed; she knew there was more meaning to what the woman was saying than the surface words, and she jerked her face to the side as Professor Dormer spoke again.

"After your morning run, you will eat, and then you will have a few hours of academic study. You will not be attending a school, as I am more than qualified to teach you myself at home. I suspect that such an arrangement will be more beneficial to you as it is, as you will receive one on one instruction at your own pace of learning," Professor Dormer's eyes narrowed slightly, and she turned her head at an angle as she eyed Faith carefully. "How long has it been since you attended class on a regular basis?"

Faith shrugged; the answer to that, pretty much, was never. She hadn't gone to school at all in the past three months, and before that she had skipped and cut class on a frequent basis. Even when she was a little kid her mother hadn't been reliable about getting her to school every day and on time.

Thinking about her mother made her mind start drifting into an area Faith didn't want to travel down mentally, and she quickly spoke up in a continued slightly defiant tone to distract herself more than because she actually wanted to rebel.

"If I'm just supposed to be this fighting superhero that will probably die before I'm outta my teens, then why do I even need any kind of school crap at all? It's not like I need to know algebra if my life is supposed to be all about blood, gore, and killing."

"First of all, Faith," Professor Dormer began, and there was a serious look in her eyes as she reached her hand for a moment to touch Faith's cheek, turning her face towards her in a manner that made Faith freeze, wary, stiff, "one does not, in battle or elsewhere, allow oneself to even entertain the thought that she might die. There can be no doubts or negativity. Fear is natural and can in fact provide the drive for strength and focus one needs to overcome her foes, but if a Slayer- or just a woman- allows herself to believe that she may not emerge triumphant, she backs down from giving out all the effort she could have exerted otherwise, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Secondly, a Slayer's life is not about violence and the glory of death-making, but rather about honor and protection and sacrifice. Thirdly, there is no guarantee that you will ever become a Slayer-" and was it Faith's imagination, or did she see the woman's eyes flicker in a way that suggested she hoped that Faith wouldn't be?

"But I will prepare you to the best of both of our abilities, for the event that that day may come. And lastly, Faith, in response to your actual question, a Slayer must have knowledge and understanding beyond her calling. If you are never called as a Slayer, you will of course need an education to further you in life, and even if you are, you will need as a Slayer to be able to use your mind to think logically and with greater agility, as academics will help you develop. I am sure we will have little trouble in that, Faith, even if you are behind your peers currently in knowledge. You are a bright girl, as I'm sure you realize, or you would not have made it as far in life as you have."

In fact, Faith hadn't realized this was and rather stunned to hear Professor Dormer say it. No one had said anything like that to her in her life, and she was so incredulous to hear it now that it took her a couple of seconds to start listening as the woman continued.

"After your studies, you will train for a few hours, eat, and then study again, although this time, on the aspects of mystical life such as vampires and demons. Although the majority of such knowledge is the responsibility of the Watcher, you have not been raised with the knowledge and training of most potential Slayers, and there is much you need to know if you are to be a Slayer yourself. Then you will train again, and end the day with a period of time to unwind, easy any troubles or stresses you may have before sleep. The time each of these activities takes will vary from day to day, of course, and there will also be times of rest and relaxation worked in. Of course, they are also subject to change depending upon need. But this is the general run of events you will be looking at on a typical day."

Apparently finished at last, Professor Dormer leaned back a little in her seat, watching Faith's reaction. For her part, Faith found this spiel of expectations entirely mind boggling. From the sounds of it, she had simply traded one prison in for another.

"So…I'm, what, I'm supposed to just be here, every day, just with you, working my ass off every freaking day?" she said incredulously, her tone and expression making it rather clear what she thought of this plan. "What, was that part of the jail's conditions for bail, that someone tracks my every move?"

"If you ever are a Slayer, Faith, it will be necessary for you to have had all that I will provide for you for your own survival," Professor Dormer said calmly. "It will also be necessary for you to be somewhat removed from others; that goes with the territory of being the Slayer. As for what seems to be your main concern- the limitations to your freedom and time- you will have Saturdays and Sundays off from your studies, and Sundays off from training. When I feel that we know each other well enough that I trust you to do so, you may go out on Friday and Saturday nights if I am aware of what you are doing, where you are going, and when you will return. I don't find this to be an unreasonable arrangement given that you are only fourteen; in fact, had other Watchers I know of realized I had initiated such a thing, I am sure they would find me terribly lax."

Terribly lax? Those were hardly the words that had come to Faith's mind upon hearing Professor Dormer's plans. So this was the catch…Faith knew there had to be serious drawbacks to having a mansion with an open buffet.

A part of her felt like she shouldn't care, that she should be happy to have whatever since she really had nothing. But a larger part of her bristled at the very thought of what Professor Dormer's description implied to her.

"Look, I appreciate you doing all this and everything," she said abruptly, her muscles tensing, hardening her eyes as she looked the woman directly in the face. "But I never asked you to, and if you're gonna…I don't want any debt to pay off here-"

"You owe no debt to me, Faith, if you are to become a Slayer," Professor Dormer interrupted, leaning forward once again, her voice so intent that Faith did not even think to cut her off. "And though you owe nothing to the world, you do have a duty towards it. Do you want to be a Slayer, to be the best and strongest you can be? Do you want to have power and respect, rightness and admiration, for who you are, as well as what you can do?"

She paused, her eyes still on Faith, giving her time to sink in, and Faith unconsciously bit her lower lip. She did want it… everything she had said, she wanted. It must have shown in her expression baldly, for the Professor Dormer's eyes softened.

"If you want it as badly as I think you do, Faith, then you will work for it, and grow to enjoy the work as well."

Faith knew that there was little room for argument in that. If she truly wanted to be this Slayer…then maybe she should try all this crap, at least for a while. She could always take off if it didn't work out.

She said nothing, and Professor Dormer continued to watch her; Faith had the uncomfortable feeling that she could see into her head, that she knew exactly what she was thinking, and she averted her eyes, clinching her jaw in spite of herself. Sure enough, the woman spoke again a few moments later, her words again, to Faith's unease, resonating despite her efforts to remain unmoved.

"Whether or not you think so now, Faith, I believe you will discover in time that all of this is not only what you need, but also what you want. Right now, in comparison to the freedom you had on the streets, and even in your…former home…to roam about unchecked, restrictions of any sort may seem no better than a punishment or prison of sorts to you. But here, unlike in your former circumstances, although you have these expectations, you will also have shelter and warmth, food and safety, access to medical care, and opportunity to grow and become everything you are capable of. Moreover, Faith, you have someone to look out for your well-being. Although I realize you have looked out for yourself successfully to an extent in the past-"

"I don't need anyone 'looking out for me,' " Faith spoke up hurriedly, her eyes raising to Professor Dormer's, her voice louder and harsher than she had intended. She had been accepting the woman's words, though with difficulty, up to this point, but this she could not let go of. "I don't need anyone watching my back but me."

Professor Dormer said nothing to counter her words, but the way she eyed her, as if Faith was something she pitied, with a knowing glint to her gaze, made Faith want to snap back at her, to rail against her and aggressively prove her wrong. But how do you prove someone wrong and still save face when they just look at you, especially like THAT?

"Other than that general schedule, I expect, as I have said to you a few times already, that you will not use profane language in my presence or when speaking to me," Professor Dormer began again almost a full minute of silence later. "I expect you to show respect to me, as I will show respect to you. There will be no stealing, either from myself or from any other, nor unnecessary violence and aggression. I also expect obedience-"

"Like a puppy?" Faith couldn't stop herself from commenting, and despite herself, she felt a twinge of regret at the level look Professor Dormer gave her in return.

"Obedience, if one wishes to be a Slayer, is very important, Faith, particularly to one's Watcher. It may save your life or that of others, and it is wise to get into the habit of doing so quickly."

She tilted her head, her voice lowering, her hands entwining themselves onto her lap as she exhaled; all this time she had rarely shifted her eyes from Faith's, to Faith's discomfort. She could not remember anyone ever giving her such undivided attention in her life. Was that a British thing, or just a Diana thing?

Shit…had she just called her Diana in her head?

"I do not expect you to like me, Faith. In fact, I am quite certain that you will resent me, if not despise me, at times, but I assure you…your life will be better by having my hand involved in guiding its course."

She was quiet then, watching Faith, obviously waiting for her response, but Faith could not pull her thoughts into enough unity to come up with one. When she finally spoke, her words were abrupt, almost jerky in tone.

"What else do I have to do?"

"You will not drink or take drugs," Professor Dormer said after measuring her without words for a few moments, and there seemed to be a smile in her eyes, if not on her lips. "If you smoke, which I might add is a bad idea for anyone, Slayer or not, it had better not be in my home or presence. You cannot tell anyone about your role as a potential Slayer, as much as can be avoided- not that many would believe you," she added, and this time there was a wry smile. "No boys are allowed in your room or bed- or men," she added hastily when she saw the smirk on Faith's face, " and you will keep a diary, not for me, but for yourself, to work through the stresses of your life. Slayers have traditionally done so for centuries," she added again when Faith scrunched up her nose, "and I believe it to be beneficial. Other than that, Faith, I suppose that is all I expect of you."

"Oh, that's all, huh," Faith muttered, rolling her eyes. She shifted in her seat, moving to stand, but froze when Professor Dormer lay a firm hand on her arm, once more catching and holding her gaze as she spoke softly.

"None of this is to say that I do not expect mistakes, Faith. All of us are very human and flawed, and you are still very young yet. You have more than enough time to continue to make mistakes. What I am asking is that I know you are trying and striving to grow."

She smiled at her, and Faith's heart squeezed unexpectedly; she was very aware and angry with herself because of her awareness of Professor Dormer's hand on her arm, her proximity to her, and the fact that not all of her was made uncomfortable by it. She pulled away suddenly, sniffing and wiping at her nose with the nearly forgotten tissue in her fist, and cleared her throat. Professor Dormer watched her for a moment before speaking in a more normal tone of voice.

"Well, that's that, then. Your physical begins in less than an hour, so after its conclusion I suppose we can get a late start of the day, see if those running shoes will be of use to you. Shall we go to the car? Perhaps we will have time to buy you a few items of clothing first."

As she stood, then extended a hand to Faith to pull her to her feet, Faith hesitated for several moments, torn between pushing her hand away and standing on her own, and simply letting her take it. When she finally let Professor Dormer take her hand, the woman's brief smile nevertheless revealed her surprise- and happiness. Faith pulled it away quickly and looked away.

What was she getting herself into…what was she letting happen here?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The rest of the day passed quickly, or so it seemed when Faith looked back on it, though its events while occurring had seemed much longer. A good span of time had been spent outside of Professor Dormer's home- going to the doctor, eating lunch, and shopping for clothes- and Faith figured she better enjoy the time away while she could, since from what the woman had said earlier, the outings wouldn't be a daily occurrence.

The meal out had been…kind of nice, Faith had been surprised to realize. Professor Dormer had let her pick the place and order what she wanted, and she had actually talked to Faith like a normal person some instead of like she was a puppy being trained, a juvenile delinquent, or a charity case. Faith had tried to first to continue answering and speaking with her as little and shortly as possible, not so much because she resented or disliked the woman as an instinctive means to continue wariness, a form of self protection. But by the time Professor Dormer had paid the bill Faith had found herself listening to the woman's stories more often than not, interested in spite of herself…and a few times she had caught herself asking questions, looking her in the eye. She had even laughed once- and when they were walking back to the car, she had felt the name Diana form itself on her lips before she quickly caught herself, changing the addressal to Professor Dormer.

The shopping had gone fairly well too; in fact, it had been pretty freaking wicked. Professor Dormer had let her pick out pretty much whatever she wanted "within reason," which included some sweet new jackets, one which was real leather, and boots too. She had vetoed a couple of particularly skimpy, low cut tops and a pair of panties that said "Enter here" on the front, but Faith had figured that would be pushing her luck. The panties had mostly been just to test how far she could go anyway. She had to give her that, the woman wasn't stingy with her cash. Of course, if Faith was really gonna follow her schedule and maybe be this Slayer, then clothes and food and stuff were basically her salary.

At her physical the doctors had done a million things to check Faith out, all of which had made her extremely edgy at the constant probing, prodding, looking, and manipulation of her body by a complete stranger, and an adult male one at that. Not that this would usually bother her, but usually, Faith invited touch or at least knew how to handle unwanted touches to put them in their place. This was different, beyond her control, and several times she had to stop herself from striking out at the man. Professor Dormer had stayed in the room the entire time, even when the man had given Faith a basic gynecological exam- the worst part of the physical and the day, easily.

Faith should have known better than to answer the damn question about her sex life, but the guy had startled her; it wasn't like many people had asked her before, particularly in such a neutral and professional tone. One second he'd been listening to her heart, having her cough for him and looking down her throat, and the next he was asking her if she was sexually active- with Professor Dormer still standing there in the corner.

"What?" she had asked, surprise coloring both her tone and her ears, and the man calmly repeated himself.

"Have you ever had sex before, Faith? Vaginally, orally, anally, any manner considered-"

"Well, yeah, all of the above, so what? What's it to you?" Faith had blurted out defiantly, and within the next two minutes she had found herself in stirrups with something cold, hard, and extremely painful inside her.

It was all she could do to keep from screaming, from lashing out kicking and punching, struggling to escape it- but she was afraid that if she did it would hurt worse, that she would stab herself with the thing. She had hated ever second of it, all the more so because she was not so much angry as afraid. Lying there, her every muscle so tensed that the doctor had to repeatedly ask her to try to relax, Faith had squeezed her eyes shut, her teeth gritted, her stomach knotting so she felt nauseous and light-headed as she fought back the memory of other hands, other times where she had had no control of her body and what was done to it.

Professor Dormer had been there the whole time, though she had not looked at what the doctor was doing, thankfully. She had stayed up by Faith's head, keeping her eyes focused on her face, and talked to her quietly as he went about his exam. Though Faith didn't remember a word she had said to her, she remembered Professor Dormer's tone, and the way she had taken Faith's hand and held it firmly the whole time, not complaining when Faith squeezed it hard enough to undoubtedly hurt her. At some point in the middle, around the third time that the doctor had asked her to try to relax her thighs, Professor Dormer had even began to stroke her free hand gently down Faith's hair as she continued to talk to her. Faith didn't even admit it to herself, but the woman's presence and touch, as much as she had disliked it at first, was the only thing that had kept her somewhat composed.

At the conclusion of the physical, Faith had been declared basically okay, other than her virus and the fact that she was undernourished. At 5'5", she weighed just under 100 pounds. She had glanced at Professor Dormer, both when her weight had been announced and when she had stupidly said that she'd had sex in ways the woman probably hadn't dreamed of for her own self, and both times she had said nothing, but her jaw had set, her eyes hooding, and she had thinned her lips as if she were suppressing great anger- though Faith had the feeling that it was not towards her. Faith had left the exam with a confusing mixture of embarrassment, anger, lingering anxiety, and tension inside her…and also a reluctant gratitude towards Professor Dormer that had scared her almost as much as the doctor's touch.

And then had come the shopping and lunch, where Faith had actually enjoyed herself, and not a word had been said about Faith's sexual status, though she had expected it. This had confused her even further, and she had eventually told herself to just go with it for then- what the hell ever to everything.

With the doctor having declared that she was basically fine, as promised, when they had returned home, almost straight away Professor Dormer had handed Faith her new sneakers, telling her that it was time to break them in.

"We will not have time for a full training session today," she had said, "But we can begin with something, at any rate. So let's see what you've got, Faith."

And as very unenthused as this statement made her, Faith didn't protest; after everything that had been done for her earlier, she didn't feel she had room to. Besides, she was reasonably fit, right, for someone who didn't actively work out…and she was sort of curious herself what kind of time she'd make. At least it wasn't six am.

Ten minutes and thirty-seven seconds later she had finished the mile and was so out of breath she went into a coughing fit and couldn't stop. Faith had to bend over, hands on her knees, struggling for breath, and deathly afraid she would puke and increase her mortification. Professor Dormer had come over to her from the starting point and rubbed her back, as she had the night before, even as she coolly announced her time. Faith could tell from the tone that she didn't think it was a very impressive time, and Faith herself was disappointed…but more so discomfited, because she hadn't immediately pulled back from the woman's hand on her back when her coughing had eased.

Several times now in the past couple of days Professor Dormer had made brief gestures of physical contact towards her, and even as she tried to resist, Faith was already starting to get kind of used to it…and if she was entirely honest, to sort of like it sometimes. And that was what scared her. She couldn't let herself like it- she couldn't let herself like any of this too much. But it was so hard not to. Even the running, even the schoolwork that Professor Dormer had started her on and quickly discovered how very far behind she was in- even the diary she had made her write in, dumb and unnecessary that all of this seemed to be to Faith wasn't all that bad once she actually went through with it.

Professor Dormer might actually be right…Faith might actually get to the point where she was used to all of this…where she even liked it, just a little bit.

And that realization, as Faith lay in bed that night, trying not to think again of the doctor's hands on her, inside her, of Professor Dormer's fingers in her hair as she held her hand tightly, was what made her sit up abruptly and unlock the latches at her window, slinging her legs over the sill and dropping down to the ground below. She'd come back tonight, but it would be on her terms, not anyone else's…and the same with anyone laying their hands on her in any way. She wondered where a good place was around the area for picking up a guy, and for a moment her eyes slid towards the garage, debating the merits of taking Professor Dormer's car. In the end, Faith decided just to walk.

Slipping up along the side of Professor Dormer's house, Faith glanced one last time towards the front door before she came to a stop outside what she had counted out to be her bedroom window. There was no lights turned on the front porch or inside the house, from what she could see- it looked like Professor Dormer was sleeping on, like she had gotten away with her little escapade.

Faith couldn't help but grin, her eyes glittering in the darkness. Adrenaline was still spiking through her so that she felt powerful, alive, confident, and very satisfied with herself. She could definitely keep doing this, and things would be perfect. She'd play the good little girl like Professor Dormer wanted in the day, but in the night…once night rolled around, she could do whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, just like tonight, as long as she was quiet and came in by morning, and the woman would never know the difference. Faith was used to not having much sleep, and if she could get the freedom and excitement- and the sex- that she needed to keep herself on balance, to keep all her thoughts and feelings exactly how she wanted them, exactly in her control, then she could do with a few hours less sleep.

Her heart beat a little faster as she thought of the bar she had managed to find within two miles of Professor Dormer's place, a small, sleazy affair that had not seemed concerned in the least when fourteen-year-old Faith walked inside, but rather had welcomed her enthusiastically- some of its patrons anyway. Faith hadn't drank very much, afraid that she might forget her way home, but she had danced, rubbing her body against others, grinding her ass into more than one man's crotch and enjoying the sense of power she held over him when she felt his body's response. She licked her lips unconsciously as she thought of callused hands running over her arms, her stomach, her breasts, her ass, of the taste of alcohol on his breath and the scratchiness of his beard as one of the men somewhere in his early twenties had kissed her, simultaneously inching her along towards the unisex bathroom. Faith thought of the same fingers fumbling with her zipper, as his other hand gripped her hair hard, slipping his fingers inside of her, and she did not have room to think about the men who had touched her with violence as well as lust, the men who had not been invited to reside with the others in her memories of her sexual encounters.

She did not have to think about Legs.

Under her windowsill, Faith reached up, using her upper body strength to haul herself onto the windowsill. Managing to get one leg inside her room, she swung over the next, turning to fully face the interior, and immediately went still, her face stiffening with shock. Professor Dormer was perched primly and patiently on Faith's bed, her posture straight, hands folded neatly in her lap, dressed in house slippers and a purple dressing gown. As Faith froze, still half in and half out of her window, Professor Dormer gave her a smile that seemed to Faith to be every bit as much sarcastic and mocking as her words were intended to be, even though her tone sounded polite and pleasant enough.

"Oh, hello, Faith," she said in the sort of voice one might use when running into a friendly acquaintance in public. "Did you have a good time?"

"What are you doing here?" Faith blurted, still making no move yet to pull herself into the rest of the way into the room; she couldn't think to. She had been so quiet…how the hell had the woman known? Was she going to check on her every night, just because she had ONE nightmare, ONE night?

Well if she hadn't planned to before, she definitely would now…shit.

"Why, waiting for you to return," Professor Dormer replied in the same pleasant tone that made Faith all the more uneasy than if she had screamed…in fact, Faith would have very much preferred for her to scream. At least then she would know where she stood and what to expect…but with this, this quiet way of looking at her and speaking with these obviously sarcastic words…what did THIS mean?

"I was fairly certain that you would return," Professor Dormer continued, as Faith's stomach cramped at the feeling of the woman's eyes on her, "because you took nothing with you. I am glad to see that I was not mistaken."

"Yeah, well…look-" Faith started, still balanced awkwardly on the windowsill, her ears reddening, but Professor Dormer's eyes narrowed, her voice lowering, intent, as she spoke again.

"Come all the way inside the room, Faith, and sit on the bed with me."

Faith hesitated, her stomach twisting harder; what she wanted was to turn around, slide back out the window, and run. She was scared; she was smaller than the woman, and younger, and probably stronger, but that voice, and the way she was looking at her, was intimidating. Much more so than if she had screamed and hit her. To Faith, it was dangerous, because it was unknown to her.

Slowly she dropped down to the floor and came forward, unconsciously biting her lip, and sat down as far from Professor Dormer as she could, holding herself very tensely. Was she just going to lecture her, or did she have something horrible in mind…something that would be completely unpredictable?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Professor Dormer turned to face her more fully, and though she still smiled almost politely, there was a hardness to her eyes that made Faith swallow, even as she asked herself fiercely why the hell she was so afraid. The woman waited several moments, causing Faith to shift her weight and avert her eyes in discomfort, before she finally spoke.

"I think you realize that we need to have a talk, don't you, Faith?"

Faith shrugged slightly, not replying, and cleared her throat. She didn't trust her voice to be steady. All the adrenaline she had been enjoying only a couple of minutes ago now made her jittery and nervous, and she continually shifted her weight, clearing her throat, still not wanting to meet Professor Dormer's eyes. As she had thought, the woman did not expect an answer and did not wait for one.

"Leaving as you did, Faith- in the middle of the night, without permission or my knowledge, in a town that is strange to you and overrun with evil beings and unsavory creatures- that is dangerous and foolish, and also disobeys my instructions to you of my expectations," she said quietly, looking straight into the girl's eyes. "It goes against the trust that I would like to build with you, and makes it that much harder to do so. But I will not lecture you about any of this right now. What I believe we need to talk about is sex."

Faith cringed, her jaw tensing; she had KNOWN the freaking gynecological exam would come up eventually. She sniffed, trying to tell if she smelled like sex, and looked down to see if her pants were zipped and everything was in the right place. She looked okay, but with her cold, she couldn't tell about the smell. Damn…

"You were in the doctor's office. I'm pretty sure you know that I got down all the facts about the birds and the bees a long time ago, so I don't think it's necessary for a review," she tried, but Professor Dormer was not put off so easily.

"Have you? You may understand the mechanics of sexual intercourse, Faith…you may even outpace me in knowledge in that respect. But there is still much you need to learn," she said quietly, and she paused, waiting until she was sure Faith's eyes were on her before continuing.

"I will not lecture you on the fact that you have had sex, Faith, nor will I pass judgment upon it, although the thought of a child who is barely fourteen with your level and history of sexual experience is not something that I will ever support or be comfortable with. If you want honesty from me, it angers me. Not at you, but at a world and persons that could allow and even cause such a thing to occur."

"I'm not a child," Faith bristled, lifting her chin and looking back to Professor Dormer defensively now, not liking the direction that the woman's mind seemed to be heading and needing to dispute it. "Nothing caused anything, so be angry at me if you're gonna be angry, I'm the one who does it. What do you care? I know what I want, I go for it. I get it. So what?"

She told herself even as she said it that her words were true, that the other times didn't count…they didn't even exist, not as long as she didn't think, didn't remember. They didn't.

"Just because I'm not a prude, or uptight, doesn't mean I'm a child or a victim," Faith said quickly, her voice rising slightly. "Just because I'm not some pure little virgin with a stick up her-"

"I am not blaming you, Faith," Professor Dormer said quietly. "I want you to understand that. I do not blame you for your desires, or for your past actions, as much as I may dislike them. Nor do they have anything to do with what I wish to talk to you about now. I do not hold your feelings, wants, or anything you have done in the past against you. What disappoints me today is not any of those things, nor, even, the fact that you had sex tonight. What does disappoint me is that you deceived and disobeyed me to do so."

Faith bit the inside of her cheeks unconsciously, her eyes momentarily shifting away. That quiet serious tone, the way that she was looking at her…god, she hated it, that was about the worst thing she could do to her. She would rather have someone scream that she was a worthless lying slut then look at her like that and tell her she was disappointed.

What do you care what she thinks or does? She told herself quickly, tightening her jaw. She's trying to make you feel guilty…well don't do it! Screw it- how does she know what you were doing anyway if she didn't already think you were some kind of whore? For all she knew you were just taking a walk or climbing trees.

"How do you know what I was doing? You weren't there- who says I had sex, how the hel- how the heck would you know if I did or not?" Faith tried, remembering not to swear only when the words were already half way out her mouth.

When Professor Dormer said nothing, continuing to fix a level stare at her, eyebrows raised, Faith shifted her eyes again unwillingly, changing her position on the bed. Okay, so the woman wasn't stupid. Or maybe she really did smell.

"I didn't disobey you," she said quickly as another defense came to mind. "You said no guys in my room, and there weren't any. You didn't say that I couldn't leave."

Faith hadn't thought that this would get the woman to back off. She was right. Professor Dormer didn't' give her so much as a nod of acknowledgement before replying.

"If my wishes were not clear the first time, Faith, let me make them abundantly so now. You may not leave the house after I am asleep. If for some reason you must do so, under very pressing circumstances only, then you are to first awaken me to let me know what is going on, and most likely, Faith, you will find very few occasions where this will be necessary. If you do go out, I will be awake, and I will remain so until you return, if I do not go with you myself. This is true whether or not you have my persmission. There will be no sneaking around and no secrets in this house, Faith. If you do leave at night without my permission or knowledge, then you can expect to face the consequences."

Faith licked her lips, her stomach flipping, her voice dry as she asked, "What are they…the consequences?"

"They will depend upon the circumstances as well as the offense," Professor Dormer said, rather cryptically, and Faith swallowed in spite of herself. That hardly sounded reassuring.

Why the hell was she worrying, she tried to tell herself quickly. What could the woman really do to her? Faith could hold her own in a fight against her if she had to. What's the worst she could do, kick her out? Send her back to jail?

As soon as she thought it Faith realized that even as flippantly as she thought about it, it was a big deal. Already she didn't want to lose what she had here…already she was laying down roots, no matter how many times she had warned herself not to. And there were other things that could be done to her…Professor Dormer could always have other people do them, if she couldn't do them herself.

"You mean you'd kick me out?" Faith asked as casually as she could, smoothing out her features into a flat unconcern that did not entirely reach her eyes. "Send me back to jail or juvie or something?"

Professor Dormer blinked, her eyes flickering, taken aback, and she took in a quick breath before shaking her head, seeming genuinely startled by the question. Her eyebrows slanting, she raised her voice as she sought Faith's gaze with her own.

"No. No, Faith, of course not. Look at me, Faith." Not waiting for Faith to comply, she reached for her chin, tilting her face up towards her with firm pressure and holding it there for a moment before letting go, making sure Faith continued to look at her.

"Faith, that is one thing that you need not worry about as far as punishment or consequences go. Whatever you may do, whatever foolish actions you may undertake, that is not an option." She paused, holding Faith's gaze with meaning for several moments before lowering her voice.

"You are my Slayer, Faith. But more than that, as of yesterday you are my child. Not biologically, of course, and I am certain also not by heart or mind, not yet. I do not expect you to think of me as your mother, or to displace her in any way. I am not your mother. I never will be, and I am sure you do not wish me to be. But even though I am not your mother, but rather your guardian and your Watcher, you ARE my child. In a legal fashion, of course, but there is certainly more to someone belonging to you in any manner than a piece of paper stating it to be so," she said, and Faith shifted again, her lips thinning. When she started to turn her head away, Professor Dormer reached out and turned her face back to her firmly.

"I will not discard you like a worn pair of sneakers or an unwanted puppy, Faith," she said quietly, and even Faith could recognize the sincerity of her tone. "Whatever you may do."

Everyone else in her life had, Faith thought to herself, and most had said the same. Some had perhaps even believed it when they said it. But she didn't say that to Professor Dormer. As foolish as it was, she wanted to believe her.

"Like it or not, child," Professor Dormer continued, giving her a slight smile, "you're stuck with me." She reached to tuck a strand of hair behind Faith's ear, and Faith held very still, nearly holding her breath, even after the woman's hand had returned to her side.

"This is your home. That does mean, however, that you will have to abide by its rules…but this will always be your home. And now that we have this straight…it's time we talk about sex."

As Faith exhaled, bracing herself for another speech- like the tenth one in two days, and probably one that would be long-winded and embarrassing for at least one of them, Professor Dormer pretended she didn't notice her restless movement and face making in response.

"I realize that your sexual past is likely not something you wish to talk about," she said, and Faith stiffened. The way she was looking at her, the tone of her voice...it was like she knew. Even in her mind Faith did not give words to it, so how could this woman, how could anyone know about those times, those men, when she had never said a word? How could she know about her father about-

Had he SAID something? They would have had to contact him…for him to give up his rights as her legal guardian, he would have had to be contacted to sign custody over…but then why-

She must be talking about those men with Legs, the men who had got her jailed. She had to be.

"So let's talk about the present, then," Professor Dormer was saying, and Faith looked up, making herself focus. "It appears to me, Faith, that you want and need sex, since you felt the need to leave the house in the night and deceive me to obtain it. Now, every living being has a sex drive. That is of course normal and natural. It is a biological fact of our species and nothing to be ashamed of. However, there are better ways to…er, satisfy it…than the means you sought out tonight."

Faith stared, totally thrown. Was the woman really saying what she thought she was saying…this straightlaced older British woman, basically telling her to start masturbating? That she was endorsing and encouraging it?

"What…are you trying to say you recommend I get busy with my hand?" she asked bluntly, her eyebrows shooting up, and for the first time since she had laid eyes on her Professor Dormer looked flustered, even going so far as to flush and let her eyes move to the side.

"What I am saying, Faith, is that there are…alternate methods…safer methods…to obtain satisfaction-"

"You are, aren't you?" Faith interrupted, grinning in sudden extreme amusement at the clear discomfort in Professor Dormer's expression. "You want me to pick out a vibrator the next time we go shopping?"

"I most certainly do not," Professor Dormer said with great dignity, lifting her chin and clearing her throat as she regained her composure and eyed Faith sternly. "I am sure you can figure out other methods to-"

She paused when Faith snorted, dimples flashing in and out of her cheeks, and reddened again, quickly plunging ahead to a safer topic.

"All that aside, Faith, I know you must be aware of the physical dangers of sex. Disease, pregnancy, violence, I am sure you must be knowledgeable of all of this and need no further lectures upon it. What I am concerned about the most- what I wish to impress upon you- are the emotional dangers of casual sex."

The EMOTIONAL dangers? Obviously the woman really didn't' know Faith. There was no emotion involved in sex for Faith except excitement, arousal, and satisfaction, and she wasn't sure any of that actually counted.

"Don't worry," she muttered with an edge of sarcasm. "For me, that's not a danger. Not even a possibility probably."

Anymore, anyway, but the lady didn't need to hear that. besides, it was pretty clear right away that she wasn't going to believe her.

"Oh, but there is, Faith," Professor Dormer countered, shaking her head. "No matter who the person is who acts as your…partner…no matter how much or little you feel for them, the emotional danger is very real and always present. In the end, it cannot help but affect you."

"Not me," Faith said flatly, wanting the woman to give up on her "talk," to just go back to her own bedroom and let her go to sleep or at least pretend to sleep, but of course Professor Dormer did no such thing, determined to make Faith see her point. It seemed that she was as stubborn as Faith was sometimes…maybe even all the time.

"Yes, you, Faith," Professor Dormer said firmly, her eyes narrowing. "Much more so than you believe. You may think you are safe if you do not love or care about your partner. You may think that because the…arrangement…means nothing to you, that it is simply a matter of physical release and satisfaction, that you protect your heart. What you do not understand is that because this IS true, because you use multiple and meaningless partners as a…backscratcher, or the like…that because it does mean nothing to you, that you are giving yourself a dangerous lesson. Each time you…engage in an intimate act…with someone who means nothing to you, what you are doing, Faith, is devaluing yourself," she said quietly, staring into Faith's eyes. "You are telling yourself, whether you realize it or not, that you, like the person you are with, mean nothing. You are telling yourself that you are only your body and what it can do rather than a person who means more and is more. And if you continue to do this, Faith, then soon enough you will come to believe in it."

She paused, her eyes darker than usual, and Faith found herself looking back at her, though somewhat unwillingly, as her voice lowered.

"Beyond all else, Faith, I do not want that for you. Never do I want you to believe that."

There was feeling in Professor Dormer's voice, in her face, that was usually somewhat muted by externally cool and controlled persona. That alone made Faith uncomfortable…but to also see the intensity in her gaze, to hear the sincerity in her voice, and to think that this woman might possibly mean it, possibly believe it, possibly care…

What she was saying…Faith did not want to consider it, to look inside herself so closely and deeply…she didn't want to face what she might see. Why did any of it matter…what was the best thing to do was to just push forward with the present and not look back, to just worry about what was what you wanted and needed. Why did it matter what or who you were, as long as you continued to exist and thrive?

As though reading her thoughts or expression, Professor Dormer briefly and gently touched her knee, so that Faith looked up at her questioningly and somewhat guardedly.

"You are extraordinary," she said quietly. "You would not have been marked as a potential if you were not. Never forget that."

Standing suddenly and giving a slight stretch of her back and spine, Professor Dormer's eyes reverted to their normally more distant state of appearance, though she gave Faith a slightly quirked smile as she spoke.

"The next time this happens, Faith- and I do hope that it will not- you will be given considerable consequences as a result. For this time, simply know that you will still be up at six am running, and I do expect you to beat out yesterday's time. If you intend to do so, then I suggest you go to sleep now."

Giving her a slight nod, she exited the room, flipping off the light switch as she did so. For some time Faith simply sat on her bed in the darkness, still trying to process all that had just occurred. Giving up at last on trying to make sense of any of it, she finally flipped back her blankets, slipping out of her jacket and pants and lying down, but her thoughts continued to run unchecked for a long while before sleep came.

Professor Dormer had said she was extraordinary…instead of kicking her ass or yelling or throwing her out on the streets, she had said she was extraordinary.

God did she want to be.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Within two weeks, as Professor Dormer had predicted, Faith had settled into the routine of her schedule Professor Dormer had laid out for her. She wouldn't go so far as to say she enjoyed all of it- the academics, for instance, would never be something that would hold Faith's interest or attention for very long. But she did like parts of it, and shockingly enough to herself at least, considering the freedom she had once cherished and been accustomed to having, Faith found that she actually kind of liked knowing what to expect and what was expected of her. Rather than taking away from her control, as she had feared, it gave her more of a sense of control and was, whether she would admit it or not to Professor Dormer, kind of comforting.

In that short amount of time she had already progressed quickly; she was doing schoolwork at an eighth grade level, albeit not enthusiastically, and Professor Dormer was confident that she could move up to her grade level at ninth in some more time. Faith already cut out her morning running time down to between eight and nine minutes and was sure she would keep getting faster the more she pushed herself. It also helped that with her cold cleared up she didn't about vomit a lung once she finished anymore. Her training was going well too- so far Faith had learned many methods of fighting defensively and offensively, and Professor Dormer was beginning to introduce her to working with weapons as well. Faith couldn't' wait to learn to use a crossbow- those looked totally wicked. Professor Dormer had told her she was a fast learner, and Faith had thrown herself into her training even more fully afterward, wanting to live up to the compliment.

Even the studies of demons and vampires was interesting. There was so much Faith had never known, that she was amazed to discover about the world…and the role she might play in it one day. To think that one day she might have the power to conquer all the creatures she was reading about…that they would all regard her with fear, with respect…she couldn't deny that she loved the thought of it, that she fervently hoped that one day it would be true for her.

The part about not getting to go out every single night and do whatever she wanted actually turned out to be not quite the pain in the ass Faith had thought it might be. By the end of the day, after working her mind and body to the maximum almost constantly, she was usually actually too exhausted to really have enough energy to want to go out partying too, especially after going through the wind-down routine Professor Dormer made her do every night after she had finished all her work and training. After a few weeks, even sex didn't' seem something quite so urgent in Faith's mind to seek out, though she by no means had forgotten it or stopped wanting it. During the week, she had taken Professor Dormer's fumbling, embarrassed suggestion and became quite adept at satisfying herself, something that had never really be necessary for her to learn before with so many more than willing to try their hand at doing so for her. Even on Friday and Saturday nights, when Professor Dormer allowed her to go out under very reluctant instruction, Faith had found herself hesitating, somewhat torn, for the first time since she was twelve as to whether she should have sex. In the end she had wavered- for each weekend she had gone through with it one night and not on the other. As much as she disliked it, she couldn't totally shake Professor Dormer's words to her from her mind. She couldn't totally stop herself from wondering what the woman would think of her, how disappointed she would be if she knew what Faith was doing, how concerned she would be…and whether Faith wanted to or not, as time went on, she found herself caring more and more what Professor Dormer thought, how she would react.

Sometimes Faith thought as she sat at Professor Dormer's table, eating her food, or took a hot shower in her own private bathroom or lay back in her large comfortable bed, that it was entirely surreal that this was now her life. Sometimes she looked back at herself in her nice clothes with her huge house and thought she must look like one of those rich girls now that she could never stand, the snobby ones who had sneered at her and cut their eyes at her when she walked by, and that she would have hated her own self if she had looked at herself before. Sometimes she looked at herself and all she had now, at the way she was beginning to change on the inside as well as the outside, and she didn't recognize herself. She wondered if Professor Dormer was putting a spell on her, something like one of those magic books she was studying, if she had brainwashed her into thinking she was this person that had never before existed. Faith thought that even if she had, she wouldn't care if she could just make it all last.

She was never hungry now, never numb with cold or afraid to sleep, in case she woke with a knife at her throat or a hand down her pants. She wasn't sick or dirty or poor, and when people looked at her now when she went out, it was never with the sidelong sneers or quick glances of pity or wariness that Faith had been used to at school or while living on the streets. She had put on weight, had stylish clothes that fit, and when people looked at her now they smiled, as if they thought she were pretty or nice to look at, and looked her in the eye. Faith had never felt pretty before…sexy or hot sometimes, but not pretty. Now she could almost believe that it was possible that she could be, sometimes.

And then there was Professor Dormer…the woman was definitely strange, and kind of stiff and British at times, and she could definitely use some fashion help. But she obviously knew what she was doing with teaching Faith, and even training her; Faith had been deeply impressed in her first week to realize that the woman had mad skills. She was undeniably generous with her money and her time, and as much as she tried to resist and explain it away, Faith was slowly beginning to believe that the woman really, truly did care about her…that she might, maybe, even love her, in her own British way, just a little bit. And maybe…as much as it scared Faith to even consider, maybe she was starting to love her- to love Diana- just a little bit too.

She didn't call her Diana to her face. She couldn't bring herself to do that yet. But in her head, almost always now Faith thought of Professor Dormer as Diana. When she spoke to her directly, sometimes it was hard not to slip and call her that instead. She didn't really know what it was holding her back…she just knew that she was waiting for something. The right time, the right kind of proof…whatever it was, until then, Diana wasn't' Diana to her, not yet, verbally at least.

The one thing that still bothered her was Legs…on a frequent basis Faith still dreamed about Legs, terrible dreams that left her breathless and nauseous, her heart racing, and sadder, more subtle dreams that made her awaken with her heart twisting itself harshly in her chest with her longing to see her, to touch her. She hated it. She wanted to forget, to deny that Legs had ever happened, to cast her off as the other girl had so obviously cast her off. But she couldn't. A part of Faith could not yet relinquish her, and more often than she wanted to her thoughts returned to the first person who had ever made her feel an approximation of love and acceptance. Attempts at explanations would form themselves in her head until she could almost believe that it was all a misunderstanding, that Legs too still longed to be at her side, was still searching for her, only now Faith was gone.

She wondered what Legs would think if she saw her now, if she would be disappointed, and because of that, Faith could not yet fully and entirely feel that she belonged…but all things considering, it was pretty damn near.

Faith sat cross-legged on the rug in the meditation room in loose draw-string pants and a tank top, her back straight, head lifted, eyes focused ahead of her, hair piled in a ponytail on top of her head. Behind her Professor Dormer sat in a similar position, though wearing a long-sleeved t shirt instead, as her hands moved with gentle yet firm pressure down Faith's back and across her neck and shoulders, easing the knots and tensions of the muscles under her skin. Faith could feel herself gradually relaxing into the woman's touch, her breathing evening out, heartbeat slowing, and she smiled, letting herself enjoy the physical contact.

All of this had been completely weird and even a little freaky the first time Diana, as Faith now almost exclusively thought of Professor Dormer in her mind, if not matching this by addressing her as such aloud, had had her take part in this kind of thing as part of her evening wind down/relaxation tie. The diary writing had made Faith feel lame and dumb, like a stupid ten-year-old kid rattling on, and the move. Same with when Diana had had her try yoga or deep breathing exercises. But the first few times Diana had asked her to let her massage her back, neck, and shoulders, Faith had found the strangest of it all.

At first she had worried that the woman was some kind of cougar lesbian pervert and was getting off on it somehow. When she'd muttered as much and Diana made it quite clear that she was not attracted to children or teenagers, fully heterosexual, and found the thought that Faith would consider such a thing disturbing and disgusting, not to mention insulting, Faith had reluctantly allowed it, but she had found it uncomfortable and had a hard time relaxing until Diana took her hands away. Diana's explanation that as hard as Faith was exerting her body now, she needed to do all she could to relax it at the end of the day, and that it was an important step in developing a bond of trust and emotional closeness between Watcher and Slayer to allow Diana to touch her, did little for the first week or so in dispelling Faith's instinctive need to back away from such slow and intimate contact, even though it was not sexual…or maybe especially because it was not sexual.

After several weeks, however, Faith found that she actually hoped at the end of each day that Diana would include a brief massage as part of her relaxation routine, though she was pretty sure the woman knew since she seemed in no hurry any longer to finish within five minutes, as she always had before. There was a lot developing between them without giving voice to it now, unspoken understandings, and Faith allowed her mind to drift off however it might go as she concentrated on the gentle pressure of Diana's hands.

A thought occurred to her suddenly, and she tried to turn her neck to look back at Diana, interrupting her work with both body and voice.

"How'd you get to be a Watcher, Professor Dormer? What, is it like a college or something? How'd you even hear about it?"

Professor Dormer paused, letting her hands rest flat against Faith's back as she responded. This was something else that had changed about their routine; she sometimes stopped her work altogether to talk to Faith, and it sometimes took her quite some time before she actually completed and drew away from her. This would have made Faith feel edgy and defensive, suffocated, just a couple of weeks ago. Now it was kind of nice…she didn't mind. Kind of liked it, even.

"I did attend a college of sorts- the Watcher's Academy," Diana told her, removing her hands from Faith's back. "As for how I became a Watcher, well, in most cases, the role of being a Watcher tends to run in families. My father was a Watcher, and his father before him, and so on down the line for quite some time. Most of them, however, never actually lived to see their Slayer chosen; they and their potential Slayer went on to lead quite normal lives after the critical period where she may have been chosen had passed. I was actually the first female in my line to become a Watcher, but then, I was an only child, so I suppose if we were to carry on the tradition I was the only one to do so."

Faith considered this for a moment, turning her head again to glance into Diana's eyes. "So you wanted to be a Watcher too? Or it as one of those things where you didn't get a choice? Like those Russian ballet guys or something?"

"Rather like the Russians, I suppose," Diana smiled, shaking her head. "I had no interest at your age. I would have rather been a pop singer or the like. But it grew on me as I actually began my studies, and now I am quite satisfied and happy with my work."

A pop artist? Faith had a very hard time envisioning this when she looked at Diana now, even when she turned around fully to face her, as if thinking that if she looked hard enough this time she might see something in her eye to indicate that she had ever been such a person. Right now she had a hard time thinking that Diana had ever been a teenager at all, let alone the type who would have wanted to be a famous pop singer.

"What were you like when you were my age?" Faith asked her curiously, and Diana smiled as Faith repositioned herself so she was completely facing her.

"I had spirit, though certainly not as much as you do," she responded with a wry look and raised eyebrow in Faith's direction. "Though I suppose few in this life would. I wasn't a troublemaker per se, but I did rebel quite often in my own fashion."

"What, you didn't make your bed some mornings?" Faith said sarcastically, and Diana raised an eyebrow again, her expression serious in a manner that heightened Faith's curiosity.

"I was young once too, Faith, and I did not always behave in ways that were wise, thoughtful, or ethical," she told her quietly, looking her in the eyes, and Faith got the message that she was directly making a parallel to her. "I was not always as different from yourself as you might believe. I certainly made my share of mistakes, some of them quite serious, and I'm sure I will continue to do so for all of my life. That is a part of being human. We cannot always be wise, particularly if we have not yet had the time to develop wisdom, and we cannot always understand our own hearts or desires."

When Diana mentioned the word desires, Faith looked up at her sharply, her eyebrows slanting; the question that came to her mind had occurred to her before, but only now did she feel comfortable with asking her outright.

"Professor Dormer…are you a virgin still?"

She expected Diana to be shocked, to grow red in the face and to widen her eyes, to gasp and stutter out an embarrassed avoidance of the question. What she didn't expect was for the woman to burst into hearty laughter so sudden and loud that Faith jumped, her own eyes widening with some shock. As she stared at her, realizing that she had never before seen Diana laugh so hard, the woman shook her head, smiling broadly, eyes gleaming in clear amusement.

"For heaven's sake, Faith, I'm not sure whether I should be pleased that you consider me to be so virtuous or offended that you would consider me to be so dull."

"Well you go on about how masturbation's better, like you found out that on your own time or something, and you never go out with anyone, and you're not married, and you were just talking about not understanding desire!" Faith said defensively.

When Diana broke out into mirth all over again at this line of logic, Faith scowled, as much because she felt like her Watcher was laughing at her as because the woman hadn't answered the quite serious question.

"Well, are you or not?" she demanded, crossing her arms, and Diana brought herself under control, wiping at her eyes.

"Not that my sexual life, or that of any adult's, is your business, Faith…but consider the fact that I am an adult woman, and I am as human as any other. I did not spend every night of my life before you entered into it studying and playing bridge, child."

That actually would not have surprised Faith to discover to have been true until this moment; it had never occurred to her that there may have been quite a different story than the rather dull one of Diana's past she had assumed, and she stared at her with new thought forming itself in her mind, her somewhat stunned imagination going to work to reinvent a new manner of viewing her.

"Oh," she muttered, and Diana shook her head, the amused smile still turning up her lips as she looked at Faith with affection.

"You're so young," she said with tenderness, and she reached out to finger a lock of Faith's hair before tucking it behind her ear. Faith held still, enjoying the small thrill that went through her at the gesture, and Diana touched her cheek lightly before returning her hand to her knee. "It amazes me at times how very young you still are, whether or not you believe yourself to be. All of you girls who are the only ones destined to save the world…so very young."

There was an edge of sadness to her tone, even in her eyes, a faint sorrow that Faith did not entirely register. She focused only on her Watcher's words, and she narrowed her eyes with serious intent, her brow furrowing with some apprehensive concern as she spoke to her.

"Do you really think I will some day, Professor Dormer? Do you really think I might have a chance…that I might really get chosen one day?"

"You may," Diana replied, her tone matching Faith's in its seriousness as she looked back at her, her posture straight, almost stiff, as she faced her. "Whether or not you are ever chosen, I will make sure that you are prepared for it. And if you were to be…I have no doubt that you would be an excellent Slayer, Faith. I have every confidence in you."

Faith smiled, her eyes shifting to the side, somewhat shy and even disbelieving at this praise. Nevertheless she felt good, full and pleased inside, to hear it. Her eyes glazed slightly as she considered it, the way it would be if she were to become the Slayer. The power…the glory…the respect, the fame…

It would be amazing.

"I want to be," she said softly, her voice almost reverent, and Diana frowned, her voice cutting into the girl's dreaming.

"The role of the Slayer is not a comic book plot, an action movie, or a fairy tale, Faith. It is not fun or light hearted to undertake. It is sacrifice, it is brutal, grueling work with very little payback of any kind, and it entails incredible strain on a person's body, mind, and heart," she told her gravely, but Faith just grinned.

"Doesn't sound too different from how you've been working me, Prof."

"It is not at all like your work, Faith, nor anything that you have ever encountered before in your life," Professor Dormer said sharply, fixing Faith with such a stern gaze that Faith went quiet. "Whatever difficulties you have experienced, whatever torments, they are very different from those of the Slayer. A Slayer stands in a class of her own…in a way she is her own society. She is the only one who can understand what it means and what it entails to be a Slayer…no other can or will ever truly know or realize."

She sounded so firm, so certain that she knew what she was talking about, that Faith frowned, her eyes lowering; when she looked back up at Diana, more questions had risen to mind.

"Have you ever met a Slayer?"

"No," Diana replied, but there had been a pause, and Faith shifted her weight, more questions immediately coming to mind. It had never dawned on her to wonder about the current Slayer, nor had Diana ever mentioned her before, and now that they were on this topic she better find out as much as she could before Diana shut down on her. For some reason the woman seemed reluctant to talk about the current Slayer…so Faith knew she better get her to get it out fast.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Who's the Slayer now?" Faith asked, turning fully to face Diana from where they were still seated cross-legged on the floor. "Do you know her? You haven't met her at one of those Watcher meeting things or something?"

"No, I have not," Diana said with some reluctance, entwining her fingers absently, looking slightly to the side of Faith rather than directly at her. "I have seen her picture and parts of her file. Her name is Buffy Summers, and I believe she is sixteen now- she was called as a Slayer last year, when she was fifteen."

Her tone didn't' leave much room for further questioning, but this did not stop Faith from doing so. Upon hearing the name of the current Slayer, Faith snorted, dimples in her cheeks flashing with gleeful amusement, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"BUFFY? The Slayer's name is BUFFY?"

"Yes," Diana said with dignity, and Faith snickered again.

"BUFFY the vampire Slayer…god, and I thought my name was bad. Doesn't exactly sound badass. If I was her I'd find a nickname fast, go by B or something."

"Be that as it may-" Diana started, seeming ready to change the subject, but Faith was much too interested to do any such thing by this point.

"Where does she live?" she asked, grinning. "Malibu? Sounds like a Buffy type place…"

"She lives in California," Diana said quickly, as if she hoped if she gave answers fast enough, Faith wouldn't come up with more questions. "A town called Sunnydale, I believe."

"California, figures…is she hot?"

When Diana gave her one of the pointed stares that Faith was accustomed to by now, designed to reprove her without actually nagging her aloud, Faith just grinned; at the moment her mind was racing with possibilities at all of this new information, and nothing Diana could do would bother her now.

"Bet she's a real badass…you'd have to be if you had to live with a name like Buffy. Can I meet her?"

"Faith, she lives across the country from us, and I am certain she is busy with her schedule and duties, as are you," Diana pointed out. "I can understand your interest, but no, meeting the girl is out of the question."

She took Faith by the shoulders and turned the girl's body away from her, at last beginning to resume the long paused massage. But Faith was so intrigued now that all her muscles were tense with excitement, and she barely felt her hands. She tried to turn her head to face Diana as another thought came to her.

"So…like, when this Buffy chick dies, then another Slayer gets called, right? And it might be me?"

"Well," Diana said slowly, as her fingers teased a knot in the center of Faith's right shoulder, "we are actually unsure of that now, Faith. You see…there are complications of late…unprecedented circumstances."

"What do you mean?" Faith asked quickly, turning her head to look at Diana again the best she could while sitting with her back to her, and when this proved not enough, she twisted her body around to face her, out of the reach of her hands. "What circumstances?"

"Faith, stop looking back at me like that," Diana instructed, circumventing the question entirely, which did not escape Faith's notice. "Turn back around and sit up straight or we'll never get through here, and do try to calm yourself, you're like a stone wall right now to the touch."

Faith obeyed, exhaling impatiently; the part about calming down was beyond her control, however, when her mind was so overloaded with curiosity.

"Fine, fine, turned around, cooling it, putty in your hands here. So tell me. What circumstances?"

Diana paused for a long while, her hands pressing down Faith's spine, before she spoke again, choosing her words carefully.

"Well…you see, the current Slayer, Buffy Summers, actually died recently in the midst of battle. However, she was apparently resuscitated at this time. But as you know, Faith, the death of a Slayer calls the next Slayer forth. Even though Buffy Summers was only dead for a minute or two at most, and even though she is still alive today, her death still was in fact death, and as a result, another Slayer, a Jamaican girl by the name of Kendra Young, was called as Slayer. This is entirely a new occurrence…never before in the history of Slayers has there ever been two living Slayers at the same time, and we are not quite sure of its consequences. Whether another Slayer will be called in the event of Buffy's second death remains to be seen, but it is assumed that it may be possible that the continuation of the Slayer line runs through both girls now. And if that is true, then history may have been permanently altered; it may now be possible for there to be two Slayers at all times."

Faith could feel her eyes widening, her heart speeding even faster in its beats, and she felt suddenly warm, flushed with excitement…so much for Diana's instructions to calm down.

"Man," she said aloud, her voice soft, almost awed, but in her mind all she could think of was that this meant her own chance of being called as a Slayer might have just doubled. Not that she wished either girl dead or anything, of course not…but if it was gonna happen anyway, then let it be her who got called as Slayer…let it be her who was chosen…

For a few more minutes Diana worked her fingers against the muscles and tendons of Faith's back, neck, and shoulders in near silence, and Faith, despite her excitement, could feel herself beginning to relax again, to grow calm again, to focus her attention on something other than this new information- probably half the reason Diana had insisted on finishing. She noticed as Diana's fingers returned to her shoulders how very lightly she touched the slight scar at Faith's collar bone with just one fingertip as she squeezed her shoulders, how when she smoothed her hand briefly down Faith's arms, that the touch on one arm, the arm with the second scar just above the elbow, was lighter than on the other. Same with touching the back of her neck…Faith noticed, but said nothing. She didn't want to know what Diana was thinking, what she knew, but she did notice.

Diana had never asked her about the small rounded scars on the back of her neck, usually hidden by her hair, exactly the same size of a burning cigarette end; she had never asked Faith about the mark on her collar bone that looked suspiciously like a knife wound, or the mark on her arm where bone had broken through skin. Her knowledge of injuries was extensive enough that she should instantly recognize their cause, and yet she had never asked her.

Maybe she figured Faith wouldn't want to talk about it, or maybe she herself didn't want to hear. But maybe she never asked because she did already know, had already read some kind of file or record and seen through whatever flimsy excuse for the injuries had been given…whatever the reason, she never asked, but she touched those areas of Faith with the lightest and quickest of touches, and it remained an unspoken understanding between them that this was to remain so.

As Faith glanced down at her arm again, her tattoo rather than the scar just below it caught her attention this time; it was partly to draw away from the scar that she had chosen the tattoo in its location and in such a bold design. Hardly anyone would ever even notice that mark with her tattoo there- but Faith still did, and she was sure Diana had too.

Still looking at her tattoo, Faith deliberately changed the direction of her thoughts as she asked Diana, "Do you have any tattoos I can't see under the masses of clothes you're always wearing?"

"I would hardly refer to modest dress as 'masses of clothing'" Diana replied dryly, finally removing her hands from Faith's back and flexing her fingers, an indication that she was finished. "I'm afraid I do not, however. I suppose that doesn't' meet your standards of rebellion?"

"Nope," Faith responded, smirking slightly, and she turned around, repositioning herself to sit at a slight diagonal from Diana. Normally when she had finished she would stand and leave the room, but tonight, for reasons she wasn't sure of, she didn't yet feel a desire to. Diana too seemed in no hurry to move, for she looked Faith in the eye carefully before reaching to lightly touch her tattoo, speaking casually.

"Speaking of tattoos, Faith, I admit that I am curious how you came by this. Does it have a particular meaning?"

Faith stilled, her eyes hooding slightly, as with little effort her thoughts reverted backward, remembering.

"Of course she's eighteen, would I lie to you? Give her a break, man," Legs murmured, flashing the long-haired owner of Kolorful Kreations a seductive smile as she let her hand caress up his broad, heavily tattooed arm slowly. He eyed her with obvious suspicion, but as her touch traveled up his shoulder and she cupped the back of his neck, moving her face so close that they were nearly touching foreheads- or lips- he relented, grunting a response as his eyes shifted to regard the smaller and clearly younger Faith hanging back beside them, nearly holding her breath in excited yet anxious anticipation.

"You got money for it?"

"Well," Legs nearly whispered, her eyes locked on his as her other hand trailed its way down the man's puffy chest, making its way toward the zipper of his pants. "I was thinking we could work out an arrangement."

Standing in the dingy front room of the small tattoo parlor- and parlor was definitely too fancy of a word for the scruffy place that Legs had managed to scrounge up, swearing to Faith that the artist never once checked for her ID- Faith held still, her heart pounding with excitement, trying to keep her face straight and blasé rather than show the adrenaline coursing through her. Legs had told her to let her do all the talking at first, and Faith was, but it was harder than she'd thought to stay still and quiet. She kept her face as unconcerned and blank as possible eve as she tried not to look around herself too much at the examples of tattoo designs on the floor, the very small curtain dividing the room from what she assumed to be the tattooing area, and the artist himself, a man in his thirties who was shorter than Legs, slightly chunky, with tattoos snaking up his arms and neck almost up to the start of his beard.

The man was definitely reacting to Legs's advances- and who the hell wouldn't, Faith would like to know, because she had yet to see one do so. His face flushed, his breath catching, and his eyes darted between Legs's face, her hand, and her chest before flickering to quickly look Faith over as well. It looked to Faith like he definitely approved of what he saw.

"What arrangement you got in mind?"

Within five minutes in the backroom the girls had paid their part of the bargain, and Faith sat, as directed, in a chair that reminded her a little of a dentist chair she'd seen before on TV. When she told the man that she wanted her tattoo on her right bicep, he gestured for her to take off her jacket and the long-sleeved t-shirt she had on underneath. Sitting nearly bare-chested under the room's fluorescent lighting, Faith took a deep breath imperceptibly as she could, trying to slow her heartbeat. She felt chilly without her shirt on, goosebumps rippling up her arms, and she shivered, strangely nervous and self-conscious. She talked to herself sternly, telling herself to chill out, but even after the payment she'd just rendered and her usual confidence with her body, to sit there with her bra on with this man's eyes fixed on her greedily, bracing herself for his hands on her, she felt exposed.

As she watched him cleanse the needles, getting out everything he would need to get the job done, Faith shivered again. Legs's hands came to rest on her shoulders as she moved to stand behind her, an she rubbed them up and down Faith's arms, creating friction in an attempt to warm her.

"Be over before you know it, babe…and it doesn't really hurt, it's kind of a rush, you know?"

Slipping out of her jacket, Legs stood in front of Faith in her shirt and tank top; removing the shirt over the tank, tossing it onto the floor and causing the tattoist's head to jerk up quickly undoubtedly hoping for two topless girls before him, she showed Faith the black Chinese dragon on her shoulder, then pulled down the top of her tank to show the dull red flame at her breast, tapping its center with obvious pride.

"This one was for Foxfire, did it myself when I was just a kid, didn't even get infected and all I did to numb it was use a little ice and whiskey. And that one," she continued, turning around and lifting the hem of her shirt to show Faith the elaborate swirling design at the end of her spine, "That one Ray here did, didn't you Ray? And I didn't make a sound."

Faith, having seen Legs naked and having grown familiar with the marks and contours of her friend's body, had of course seen the tattoos before, but seeing them again braced her, and she nodded, setting her jaw and lifting her chin as if in response to a challenge. Still rubbing the younger girl's arms, Legs grinned down at her.

"Besides, the one you've got in mind is gonna look so damn wicked, I've got half a mind to get one myself."

"Like hell you will," Faith replied, but secretly she glowed inside at Legs's approval, almost wishing that the other girl would. It would mark them together forever in a physical way, a permanent thing that everyone could see. She wouldn't mind that.

She had chosen a fierce tribal design to curl and swirl around her bicep in waves and arcs; in its center would be a number, worked into the design. 96… 96, for 1996, the most important year of her life. The year Faith was 13, turning 14, just before it was up. The year her mother died, the year she dropped out of school, the year she vowed never to let her father or anyone else ever touch her again if she didn't want them to…the year she ran away. The year that all the things happened that lead up to this year, 1997…the year she met Legs.

As Ray swabbed her arm, cleansing the area in preparation for the needle, Faith's stomach fluttered. Legs took her left hand, squeezing, and as Faith looked over at her, she couldn't help but smile. Everything was fine as long as Legs was there, sharing it all with her.

As memories quickly flitted through her mind, the images of Legs's face, so clear and strong that Fatih almost sucked in her breath, expecting to see her right there in front of her, she had to tell herself sharply that it was Diana's hand, not Legs's, touching her arm, that it was Diana, not Legs, who sat before her, and at least for a few moments she was bitterly disappointed. In response to Diana's question Faith hesitated, on the verge of explaining, of speaking about Legs aloud to another person for the first time…but at the last second she backtracked, shrugging.

"Not really," she said vaguely in response to Diana's question as to the meaning of her tattoo, her face resuming an expression as blank as she could make it. "Just liked it, I guess."

Diana's eyes remained on hers for several moments, and Faith almost squirmed, hating when she had to shift her eyes aside. Sometimes it seemed like the woman put some of that magic she made Faith read about to work and really did see inside of her, even if she never said so.

"It sets you apart," she said finally, still lightly touching the tattoo, her fingers a scant inch from touching the scar below as well. "It marks you as unique. You are, of course, on your own accord, but the physical marking makes it even more so. Given, I do not agree that a young girl should make such a permanent choice to affect her body, particularly by means that I am sure were not legal in nature…but it suits you, Faith. It is better that you choose your own markings rather than simply let others leave theirs."

Unwillingly Faith's eyes darted to the mark on her arm, and she felt a strong urge to touch the back of her neck, to finger her collarbone; she felt small and naked, soft, and yet, not entirely horrible. She told herself to pull away, to quickly shield herself once more, but instead she stayed still and quiet as Diana removed her hand from her arm, placing her hand at the side of Faith's head.

"It's time you prepared for bed, Faith, it's a long day for us both in the morning. So unless you have something you would like to say, I suppose it's good night."

Faith paused, words forming, rising on to the tip of her tongue, though she had no idea what might come out if she were to let them go. Her throat tightened, and she felt an urge to reach out and touch Diana, to take her hand and hold it as she spilled the depths of her soul, to hand her all the secret parts of her that even she didn't know existed. She wanted to lean into her side and let her have her, let her know her, and maybe finally she would have total peace, total understanding of herself.

But she didn't. She couldn't. All she could do was shrug and say casually, "Nope, I'm good."

"Well, good night then, Faith," Diana said with a slight smile, and she was starting to stand before Faith stood too, calling out after her with a rush of courage- the only burst of courage she could manage at the moment.

"Good night…Diana."

As the woman stopped short, registering the usage of this particular addressal for the first time, Faith lowered her eyes, walking past her. Even so she saw the woman's smile, and she almost wished that she could bring herself to give Diana more.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As the months went by, Faith found her world to be both narrowing and expanding drastically at the same time, all connected to the same changing of her circumstances and herself. It was narrow in that her focus and her days were generally more closed in, revolving around her studies and training, with Diana as her main contact. But it even so it seemed broader, wider, more open than ever before. She was learning, growing, changing in all the ways that a person could, she had hope for herself and her future, goals for her life…and she was happy. Just as she had been with Legs, Faith was happy...only now, she was also safe. And that was something she had never had in all of her life, never even knew that she was missing…but now that she had it, this feeling of safety and security, it was an amazing state of being, a state of being she wanted to hold onto.

She continued her general routine of training and studying on most days, pushing herself and her body so hard physically that she injured herself countless times, too stubborn to know when her body couldn't take it. Diana sometimes had to order Faith to slow down or stop for her own good. She could run a mile in under seven minutes now, and had worked up to running two each morning, three on some days, without getting too worn out to continue functioning. She could bench press three quarters of her own weight and would be doing more if Diana didn't force her to wait a while longer to try it. She swam laps, learned tai chi, karate, and other, more obscure methods of movement, and she had become quite skilled with a variety of weaponry.

Faith felt fit, strong, and capable; she had been strong for her age and size before, and a fighter by necessity, but she knew now that she was the best she had ever been. For the first time she was good enough…and for the first time she felt good enough. She felt wanted. Even more so, even if she hadn't been given that title officially yet, she felt chosen.

And Diana did want her. Faith could feel it when she touched her, whether casually, while instructing her movements in training, or in moments of brief indications of affection. She could see it when Diana smiled at her or when her eyes glittered with approval at her efforts, could hear it sometimes in the way she said her name. She saw evidence of it in the way that she cooked for her and bought her things, not always even things she needed, but sometimes just things that Faith would like to have…even though Faith never once asked for them. Faith saw it in the way she didn't grow impatient with her when she struggled with math, in the way she cared for her when she was hurt or sick, and even in the times she lectured her when she thought Faith was being foolish, lazy, or rude.

Faith had never had any of this before- from an authority figure, not in the way Diana did these things for her, at least, and she found herself almost reveling in it, wanting to drink up this new guidance, caring, and concern and do anything to hold onto it. Even scoldings were welcomed, because the motivation behind them was not to tear her down, but to motivate her to do better.

God, it tripped Faith out when she thought about the things Diana did for her, the things the woman knew about her that no one else ever had. Diana knew the foods she liked and the ones she didn't, even though Faith would never have refused anything she served her. She knew at least generally the music and clothing styles she gravitated towards, the types of movies, the weaknesses and strengths of her body and academic skills. Faith's parents had not only not had a clue, they had not cared to know. They had certainly never asked, and neither had the few friends and boyfriends Faith had had growing up. Even with Legs, their relationship and knowledge of each other had not extended beyond their present and the things they did together…not so much the people that they were. Only now was Faith beginning to vaguely realize this, and it was a startling revelation.

Diana was like no adult- no person- that Faith had ever encountered before. She never screamed at her or threatened her, never hit her or sneered at her or called her names. She was never drunk or high, never snuck men into the house at night or made out in front of Faith with them in the day, never tried to crawl into Faith's bed or fondle her when she passed her. She never deliberately set out to hurt her, just because she could… and when she told Faith that she would not leave her or force her to leave, Faith for the first time believed.

Instead of doing any of those things, the things Faith had been used to and even expected, she took her skiing, buying all of the necessary and quite expensive gear, and helped her get the hang of the beginning slopes. She sparred with her without holding back or asking Faith to do so, treating her not as a child or a problem, but as a young adult. She provided Faith with her first Thanksgiving where a meal was not only cooked without the help of a microwave but also eaten at a dining room rather than in front of the tv or in bed. She talked to her with respect and expected the same, and when she told Faith that she was special, Faith believed that Diana believed it.

And Faith herself was changing. She could feel it…and as scary as it was to let herself crack open, to let Diana inside herself and her heart, she didn't' mind being around her. She didn't even mind obeying her, even if she outwardly protested. The truth was that she was turning into a huge wuss on the inside, if not the outside, and the woman knew it. She wasn't embarrassed to be seen with her parental figure, as many young teens would be…Faith was proud. She almost hoped that people would notice them and realize they were together…that they would think she belonged to her.

When December came, Faith had been with Diana for almost three quarters of a year. She didn't expect to receive anything from her for her birthday, or at least not anything special. It was right before Christmas, after all, and she'd never expected anything- no one ever made a big deal out of it. But when she had come in for breakfast after her morning run, she had been shocked to see various wrapped gifts on the table, along with a bright red bunch of balloons, a ticket to a concert she had been hoping without much expectation to see, and a cake with her name and 15 candles at her setting.

She had opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, almost frozen in the doorway, before she could take a few steps towards the table, her voice stumbling as she continued to stare, her eyes drifting between Diana's smile and the array set before her.

"That's…that's for me?" she had stuttered, and Diana had quirked her lips, eyebrows raising.

"Well there would be quite a few more candles if it were for me, and that ticket to Noise Machine would likely deafen me permanently if were to use it."

When Faith had stood, continuing to gaze with disbelief and slowly blurring eyes at the display, Diana had walked behind her, lightly resting her hands on her shoulders.

"Happy fifteenth birthday, Faith…I'm glad that you were born," she said softly but sincerely.

To her own horror, Faith had burst into tears- the first time she had ever cried in front of Diana, and for it to be over THIS, over something nice she did for her, was humiliating and infuriating to her. What if Diana misunderstood, what if she thought Faith hated it or didn't appreciate it or something else like that…how the hell could Faith explain that she was happy and sad all at once, that she really didn't have any idea why a freaking birthday cake and some gifts could make her cry like a little girl?

But Diana had understood, or so it had seemed. She didn't browbeat Faith with a million questions or seem distressed or concerned; she didn't' say anything at all. She just wrapped her arms around Faith, holding her to her chest in the first full embrace either had ever initiated, and cupped the back of her head as tenderly as one might an infant's when Faith hugged her back.

Christmas had been just as overwhelming, and though Faith had kept from bawling that time around, she was still enough of a wuss to feel her throat choke up and her eyes grow hot when she had opened everything and looked on in amazement at her newest possessions. In comparison to what she had gotten Diana, Faith felt like an incompetent asshole, even though Diana had genuinely seemed to like most of it…or else she was good at pretending so.

And at the end of the day, as they had sat on the living room couch, watching A Christmas Story, apparently a movie Diana had never seen before, with eggnog in glasses before them on the coffee table, Faith had found herself slowly leaning into Diana, resting her head on the woman's shoulder, allowing her body to relax into her side. Diana had glanced over at her, some surprise in her eyes, but she had smiled softly, encircling her shoulders with her arm and lightly resting a hand on Faith's head. Faith had held herself still, not moving away until the movie was over, until Diana gave her shoulders a light squeeze with her arm and told her she should get to bed. As Faith had stood slowly, telling her good night, she heard herself say in her sleepy state the words that instantly catapulted her to greater alertness the moment they escaped…she had accidentally called Diana Mom…

Though Diana said nothing to correct her and did not seem embarrassed or stunned by the slip, merely telling her goodnight and heading towards her own room, Faith, beyond her near panicky humiliation and anger at herself for the slip, realized what it meant. There was no denying that she was attached, roots firmly laid down for good with no turning back.

Of course it wasn't perfect. She and Diana clashed and fought at times, annoyed each other with their habits and attitudes, and didn't always correctly interpret the other's intentions. Faith still dreamed, and as much as she tried to deny its existence, influences and thoughts of her past and the people of it still plagued her at times, affecting her feelings and behavior.

It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn near. And now that Faith was so invested, she would do almost anything to keep it that way.

It was May 12, the day that it happened. Faith was almost fifteen and a half, and she had been living with Diana for almost a year now. The day was rather ordinary at first, so when it happened, it truly was out of nowhere…both of them were blindsided by it.

Faith was with Diana in the training room, having just finished lifting weights and working the punching bag. Weary in a good, energized way, the way of someone who has pushed herself hard and enjoyed it thoroughly, she was stepping away from the punching bag to get her bottle of water when she felt it. A hot burst of energy and adrenaline, a sensation pouring over her from her core outward, so strong and intense in feeling that Faith's legs buckled and she sank to her knees with a gasp, eyes wide and glittering brightly, her face flushing with vivid feeling, almost glowing. She looked feverish, shocked, but her eyes were clear, sharply in focus, and she had never felt so good, so connected, so alive in her life. She felt as though an understanding had come over her in body and mind, a link to a greater meaning, a better cause, stretching back for centuries, maybe millenniums, and a word came to her clearly even as she did not yet understand the full impact of its meaning.

Chosen. She felt chosen.

"Faith, what is it? What's the matter?" Diana asked in concern, quickly coming to kneel beside her and laying a hand on the girl's back as she tried to peer into her face. "Do you feel faint, what's wrong?"

"No…" Faith said slowly, and her voice sounded far away to her ears, even as it seemed that all her senses were sharpening. She was acutely aware of Diana 's hand on her back, of the carpet beneath her legs…she could hear her own heartbeat and even Diana's, her every swallow, could smell both of their scents and shampoos and the iron of the weights nearby. And her vision, it was honing in on the smallest details of the wall, the carpet, even the details of the skin of her hands…everything was magnified, intensified, and she could not make sense of it…she did not understand…

"No," she repeated, shaking her head, and Diana stayed knelt beside her, her face tightening with worry.

"Are you hurt? Do you have any pain?"

"No…no, I don't," Faith said more clearly, her voice stronger now but still showing her dazed mindset, and Diana thrust a bottle of water into her hand, still eyeing her closely.

"Drink this slowly now, and don't try to stand."

Faith did as she was directed, gulping the water in long swallows, but she squeezed the bottle so hard that it broke, spraying both with the liquid inside. Both jumped, shocked, and their eyes shifted from gawking at the broken plastic in Faith's hand to each other's faces as the beginnings of realization began to dawn in their minds.

"Faith, take my hand and squeeze it," Diana directed quietly, but there was an odd tone to her voice, a foreboding that Faith understood; they both knew what would happen.

As Faith took her hand and squeezed, she felt a power surge through her arm and out into her fingers with no effort on her part, and Diana's eyes widened. She gasped, and Faith hurriedly loosened her grip, trying to pull her hand away, but Diana would not let her fully release her grip. Taking Faith's other hand as well and holding it in a gentle grip, very carefully, she peered into Faith's eyes, her own dark with intensity.

"How do you feel right now, Faith?"

"Strong," Faith replied slowly, taking in a deep breath as she was careful not to hurt Diana's hands, even as she clung to them, wanting the contact. "Alive…chosen."

She didn't yet speak aloud what she knew. It was Diana who put their thoughts to words in a low, nearly awed tone, though her eyes held apprehension as well.

"Faith Lehane…I believe you are the Slayer."

Slayer…Slayer…Faith was the Slayer.

The word filled her thoughts so no other could penetrate, and Faith's breathing heightened as excitement rose even more within her at the acknowledgement. Slayer…she, Faith Lehane, was the Slayer.

A slow smile spread across her features, until she was full out beaming, dimples cutting into her cheeks, and Faith jumped up, hitting the punching bag with all her strength and watching with delight as she sent it crashing to the floor. Running over to the weights, she piled on everything they owned and was thrilled to see that she could lift it without straining. She slammed her fists into the wall and was exalted, triumphant, when a hole appeared and she felt no pain in her hands whatsoever. Eyes gleaming, dimples fully visible, she started to laugh, turning in a circle, giddy as a little girl even as what seemed to be the power of a goddess ran through her.

"I'm the Slayer…I'm the Slayer…I'M A FREAKING SLAYER!"

"Faith, do calm yourself," Diana said quickly, though she was keeping her distance, perhaps leery of Faith's unmastered control of her newfound strength. Faith laughed again, running her hands rapidly over her face, her arms, her sides…she felt no different than usual physically, but inside…god, what a rush…

"I'm the Slayer," she repeated, still grinning widely, and started off toward the door with a bound. "I gotta go find something to slay."

"Not so fast," Diana said quickly, moving to block her way, "it's not even dark yet, and when you patrol, Faith, for at least the first several times, you will patrol with me. You may be the Slayer now, but you are still inexperienced and new to the calling. We will go tonight. But," and here she took a deep breath, an odd sentiment flashing into her eyes that Faith was too wired to notice, let alone identify, "you may go out for one hour, since it seems your energy level will stand for nothing else. Be back on time and please, Faith, be careful. Powers or not, you are still mortal."

Barely bothering to even nod in her direction, Faith almost flew out the door, beaming, her hair flying behind her wildly as she ran out into the street, noticing immediately how much faster, more smoothly and powerfully accomplished were her strides. She bet she could run a mile in less than six minutes now, maybe in only five. Her new strength seeming to spread through her, rooting itself inside and branching out to all of her, guided each step, each motion, and Faith just ran, her words inside bounding in rhythm with her thought. Slayer…Slayer…she was the Slayer…Slayer.

No one could ever hurt her, nothing could ever touch her again…she was the Slayer.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Do not simply roam about or pace down the rows with restless or aimless thought, Faith," Diana instructed as she stood beside a large stone monument of the cemetery she had taken her charge into, watching her with her arms folded, eyes sharply observing Faith's every move. "You must have a plan, a focus of thought that gives way to purposeful action. Of course, flexibility is needed, but one must also have a general plan. Not a daily unalterable routine, for you don't want to become too predictable in your actions and whereabouts. That is a good way to get too comfortable and make mistakes, as well as to allow others to know too easily what you are doing and where you are at a given time. It's best to change things up daily but to decide on a route before ever leaving home."

"It's my first day out, Di, I don't think I need to worry about getting stuck in a rut just yet," Faith replied dryly, tossing her stake back and forth between her hands as she moved quickly through the cemetery, weaving in and out of the graves as she scanned hopefully for a vampire or some other threat to approach her. Any demon would do…she just wanted to kill something, the sooner the better.

"Stop that, Faith, your stake is a weapon, not an item of amusement or a toy," Diana instructed with irritation edging into her tone, and Faith grinned, unable to resist.

"Isn't a toy and an item of amusement like the exact same thing?"

"This is a serious matter, Faith, so if you are wise- and if you wish to be allowed to go out this weekend- then you will focus and stop acting like a reckless, foolish child," Diana said very quietly, but Faith nonetheless stopped short, her posture straightening, immediately stopping both her pacing and her fiddling with her stake. She recognized her Watcher's tone, all right, and she knew better than to push her any further when she looked and sounded like that.

"Sorry," she muttered, "what am I supposed to do now then?"

"Well, for one thing, Faith, do not simply look with your eyes, and do not simply look for a vampire to announce itself either. Look for signs of a vampire's existence in the area, indications that one is near. You have heightened senses now, use them. Your sense of smell, of hearing, and your intuition…be still, and wait."

Faith held still, her eyes once more scanning the dim cemetery grounds, trying to obey Diana's words. The woman spoke softly, her eyes on the young Slayer as she concentrated.

"Do you feel them, Faith…do you sense them? A good Slayer can sense a vampire's approach before it shows itself. Do you feel anything?"

Faith tried, but couldn't stop herself from shifting her weight, couldn't continue to concentrate as her restless feelings only increased in intensity, making her feel that she would burst inside if she didn't move right then, right away. It was like something was crawling inside her skin, and only constant motion would get it out.

She didn't feel vampires. All she felt was impatient.

When she had returned home before heading out to patrol- and slay, hopefully, for the first time- Diana had informed her that it was the Jamaican Slayer, Kendra, who had died, calling Faith into the role of the second of the Chosen Two. Apparently Kendra, unlike California girl Buffy, had not been able to rise from the dead, and Diana gave Faith no details of how the girl had met her demise. Faith didn't ask for them. Sure, she was sorry the girl had died- it wasn't like she'd hoped for it or wished she would or anything. But it wasn't like she'd known her either….and if that meant that Faith could be the Slayer, that she was finally getting all the breaks in life she'd never had, she wasn't going to ruin it for herself by having morbid thoughts.

She had already tested some of her newfound abilities when she had gone out earlier- Faith had run, jumped, hit and broke things, and performed back flips and front flips with speed, grace, and strength she could never have managed before- all with ease, as if she'd been doing it all her life. It was all so freaking wicked, what she could do now, and the way it made her feel…so when would she get a chance to use it, when was something going to show up so she could kill it?

"So when do they start showing up?" Faith asked impatiently, breaking all attempts to focus as she looked over at Diana, and Diana sighed.

"There may not be vampires or other creatures making themselves known every night, Faith. We do not live on the Hellmouth as Ms. Summers does, and I daresay our nocturnal activity is not quite as busy as a result. Now that is not to say that there is little danger; on the contrary, there is always risk, so one must be alert at all-"

"Slayer," hissed a deep voice from behind, and the back of Faith's neck prickled as she turned hurriedly, facing the befanged, smiling creature that had rather quickly and silently appeared behind her. "And freshly made…let me be the first and final one to introduce you to the night life…"

"Dude, I've been way involved in the night life since I was like, eleven," Faith sneered, squaring her shoulders as her eyes glinted, her pulse speeding up in excitement. "Trust me, no intros needed. I've got it covered."

With one sharp flying leap she landed a kick into his solar plexus, sending him flying backward. Rushing at him, Faith seized him up and threw him down again, smashing his head into a grave and reveling at the cracking sound it made when the headstone broke in half. As the vampire snarled, snapping its fangs and seizing her throat, Faith choked briefly but managed to break his hold, snapping his wrist in one hand and bringing her knee hard into his groin. As the vampire fell, groaning loudly, Faith straddled him, beginning to pound her fists into his face, thoroughly enjoying the sound of his bones breaking, the feel of his blood on her knuckles, the choked pleas for mercy he was issuing.

God what a rush…to be able to do this…to bring pain, bring hurt…with such little effort, so much power…

"Faith, stake! Use the stake!" Diana called out sharply, and Faith hesitated, not wanting to end her fun, before reluctantly driving her stake into his chest. She missed the first time and had to try again, but the second time sent dust flying into her mouth and eyes so that she coughed, disgusted.

From where she stood watching several feet away, Diana crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing as she gazed at Faith critically.

"You will learn to keep your mouth closed during dustings soon enough, I expect," she said neutrally, not walking towards her, but only continuing to eye her reflectively. "It also helps not to let your face get so close in the first place. That could be dangerous anyway with their fangs to consider."

"Don't think I gotta learn that lesson twice," Faith muttered as she spat out a mouthful of ashes, shuddering. "Based on this, gotta say when I go, cremation is not gonna be my first choice."

"Also, Faith, next time, much less fist work and much more stake work, the skirmish I just observed you instigating was entirely a waste of time and effort and could have cost lives in other circumstances," Diana continued, and as always, though her voice was quiet, the tone and manner in which she said them were sufficient to sober Faith slightly. Getting to her feet, her heartbeat still considerably higher than normal, Faith turned to face Diana, her tone a little defensive yet disappointed.

"I can't knock them around a little?"

"Not when it is not necessary in self-defense or as part of the battle, Faith. It is not FIGHTING but SLAYING, as quickly and efficiently as possible, that is the focus here. And you must have focus. A Slayer is purposeful and direct, not drunk on her own power or recklessly flitting about with no plan and no thought, reacting rather than acting," Diana told her, her eyes moving meaningfully to the already healing cuts on Faith's split knuckles. Faith glanced down at them, surprised; she hadn't even felt herself get cut hitting the vamp.

"So, Faith, no aggression that is unnecessarily prolonged, more focus, more and sooner movements towards the goal of staking, careful in the placement of your mouth and face in conjunction with the opponent's, and better aim upon staking," Diana summed up, but then gave her a slight smile. "But for a first attempt, quite acceptable."

Faith beamed, eyes lighting up; from Diana, that was fairly high praise, and it only served to increase her adrenaline and confidence. She attempted to stow away everything the woman had said in her mind, so she could remember and put it to use to impress her with later…but damn, no beating on vampires? That was the best part of it all! To watch their skin split, to see the blood and feel the bones break beneath her knuckles, to see the terror and pain in their eyes and hear them beg for mercy…god, that had been amazing. And Diana wanted her to stop? She'd try, maybe, but getting caught up in the moment again like that would make it hard to stop herself.

"That was wicked," she said, her face a little flushed, eyes animated, dimples visible as she started to pace again, attempting to give outlet to the energy flowing through her. "Feels so good…I've gotta do it again!"

"Undoubtedly you will," Diana replied calmly. "But focus. Focus is the most important trait that a Slayer can possess. Lose focus, Faith, and it is a very real possibility that you could lose lives. Perhaps even your own."

"Yeah, I'll focus as long as I can do this again…do this a LOT," Faith said enthusiastically, such bounce and pep to her steps that she was almost skipping as she continued to look around herself for a second punching bag, aka vampire. "I hope I get to dust a lot more than THAT."

"Faith," Diana exhaled, and the girl was turned away so that she missed the faint apprehension in her Watcher's eyes. "Do be careful what you wish for."

But even had Faith been paying attention, it was doubtful she would have been concerned. She knew exactly what she wished for, and that was more vampires for her to slay…a LOT more vampires.

Before the night was up, Faith had managed to find and stake two more vampires, and when Diana allowed her to leave again for one hour only to "work off adrenaline," she found herself to be so intensely hungry and horny that she had no other option but to satisfy herself in both regards immediately. Diana had never mentioned that as being part of the Slayer gig…

When she returned home fed, satisfied, and intensely happy and content with herself, Faith bid the waiting Diana good night with an impulsive and unusual hug before bounding upstairs and preparing for bed with more cheer than usual. A she slipped in bed, she took several minutes to replay the spectacular events of the day in her head, savoring the many changes that had come her way with joyful pride and satisfaction.

Slayer. She was finally not only good enough, but better…among the best two in the world. She was a freaking superhero. She was a Slayer.

She wondered if that Buffy chick loved that as much as she did.

During the course of late spring and early summer of 1998, Faith quickly and quite enthusiastically adapted to her role as the newest Slayer, the newest half of the Chosen Two. Her enjoyment of her new skills and strength and the act of slaying did not diminish in the slightest over time; this was not a novelty that would wear off any time soon, if ever. If anything, as she improved in efficiency of skill, though she never could focus enough to sense a vampire before it showed itself. Faith got more excited and energized than she had initially with her later successful slays. She loved the physicality of the chase, of her fists meeting bone, bringing forth blood, of hurting more than she was being hurt, of meting out vengeance and dispensing justice so forcefully. She loved the rush that came over her at seeing the fear in their eyes, at watching their bodies disintegrate and spread out into the night. She loved going out afterward and dancing with wild abandon, making close contact with everyone she saw, needing all eyes and hands on her alone. She loved roaming the streets alone at night with no fear or wariness of what might come after her, with total confidence that if anything or anyone was stupid enough to do so, she would be more than capable of defending herself against them.

Of course, she couldn't' go out every night after slaying to do whatever she pleased, or even most nights; Slayer or not, intense urges or not, Diana insisted, she was still a fifteen-year-old girl living in her house, and she still had to wake up at six am and be ready to do the next day's tasks. On week days Faith usually had to make the best of inhaling whatever food was in the fridge and taking a very long and very cold shower after patrolling. Diana had decided after several supervised patrols that Faith would be able to manage patrolling alone most nights, but she always waited up until Faith came home. Faith wouldn't have been able to go off after slaying without her knowing all about it and applying punishment for it.

There had been many arguments over what Faith saw as an overly strict arrangement; she felt that since she was now the Slayer, able to defend herself against almost anything and fine with getting by on less sleep than before, she should be allowed to come in when she wanted and Diana should just let her and not worry about staying up for her. Diana, of course, had in no uncertain terms informed her that this would not be happening…and if Faith was honest with herself, she kind of liked that Diana waited up for her to make sure she got home okay, that she was ready there to tend to any injuries and listen to her accounts of her patrol when she got home.

Ever since she was called as a Slayer Diana had been focusing on academics less and training more in regards to her lessons with Faith, which made sense to Faith and was by no means protested against. What did she need tons of school for if she was going to just be a superhero anyway? But though Diana never openly expressed disappointment or any other negative emotion towards Faith's new status, at least not when Faith was around, Faith sometimes thought that her Watcher wasn't nearly as thrilled about it as she was…and she definitely worried more. Sometimes Faith caught her watching her with a funny far away sadness in her gaze, but by the time she really focused on it, it was always gone…and Faith never asked.

Every night Faith encountered death, stared it in the face, and challenged it to beat her out…but she didn't worry. It would never touch her again. She would make sure of that.

Author notes: Promise the action is about to start kicking up in the next chapter or two lol


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

(early 1997)

The two teenage girls sat atop the monkey bars in the small playground of the public park, hunched close, shoulder to shoulder, hankering against the evening's cold in too-thin jackets. The metal bars had warmed somewhat from the heat of their bodies through the material of their jeans, and they dangled their legs over the side, letting their feet swing idly as they sat together in companionable quiet for a space of time. The younger, smaller girl shook her hair back from her face eventually as she turned her head to face the other girl, who had been lazily twining her younger friend's hair around her fingers before letting it fall back over her shoulders.

"Legs," she asked, stilling her legs in their movements. "How long have you been on your own?"

The older girl gave a slight chuckle, her eyebrows lifting as she replied. "About as long as since I could take my own self to the bathroom, probably." When her friend eyed her, she shrugged, lifting her hand again to lace her fingers through the younger girl's hair so that she gave a slight shiver, partly from the cold, partly from Legs's touch.

"I don't know, Faith, probably since I was eleven, I guess, on and off. That was when I started running. I got caught sometimes, got dragged back kicking and spitting, literally sometimes. Never lasted though…every time they'd try to strap me down, I'd break free," Legs said with obvious pride, smiling, as she continued to idly move her fingers over the end of Faith's hair. "And now that's all I've got going for me, all I want, and all I need. Freedom."

Faith held still, hoping that Legs would not grow bored at the physical contact and move her hand away. She wondered to herself who the "they" Legs referred to that had chased her was. Her parents? Did Legs have parents? Social workers, foster homes, police, school officials? All of the above? But she didn't ask. Even asking as much of Legs as she had now was not only a rarity, but a risk, very possibly a way to make Legs close down on her if she wasn't careful.

Still, she was curious, and Legs didn't seem moody, evasive, or pissed off yet, so Faith risked pushing a little harder.

"So when did you leave for forever? How old were you?"

Legs shrugged again, shifting her weight slightly, rubbing a stand of Faith's hair between her fingers slowly and glancing at her only briefly and casually as she answered.

"Not sure…I guess I was maybe fifteen. You kind of lose track of time after a while, you ought to know that."

Still fingering Faith's hair, she shifted the topic. "Considering the shitty gym shampoo we have to work with and the way we're always out in the weather like this, you have some damn nice hair, Faith, you know that? It's soft."

Faith smiled, momentarily flattered and distracted, as Legs had probably intended, by the compliment. But as silence resumed between them her mind returned quickly to her previous track of thought, and she turned to Legs slowly, psyching herself up to ask the other girl yet another question.

"Legs? Do you ever want to go back?"

"No," Legs said with a measured and very certain tone, her eyes meeting and holding Faith's for several moments, her hand suddenly stiff and heavy in the other girl's hair as she made it quite clear without saying so aloud that she would be giving no further details. "No, I don't."

"Me either," Faith said quietly, her eyes drifting down to stare at the slushy patches of melting snow dotting the ground under their feet. She unconsciously began to swing her feet again, matching the slow rhythm of Legs's, and it was another few minutes before she spoke.

"Do you think you'll live like this forever, Legs? Out here…free?"

"Who knows?" Legs said carelessly, shaking her head, and she shrugged again as she turned her head towards Faith, finally extracting her hand from her hair. "I don't worry about anything past today. Hell, I don't even worry about today, or anything past this very second. For all I know I could fall off these bars in the next minute, hit my head on the way down, crack my skull apart, and bleed to death before anyone could do shit for me. I don't know if that will happen or not, though, so what's the point in worrying if I don't know?"

"You aren't gonna fall off the monkey bars and die, Legs," Faith said, rolling her eyes, but Legs countered her with a grin.

"Well we don't know that yet, do we? Point is that I could."

"What, are you trying to say you don't care if you die?" Faith said with some incredulity and also a little concern. But Legs shook her head again as she playfully bumped her shoulder against Faith's.

"No, babe, I want to live as much as the next person. Probably more in a lot of cases. But I'm not afraid to die either. It's a new change of scenery is all. And you know me…I always get bored with having the same thing."

"Oh, you gonna get bored of me too then?" Faith smirked, arching an eyebrow, but despite her mocking tone, she felt genuine fear twist itself in her heart. "This your way of breaking up with me?"

Legs grinned, her eyebrow lifting to mirror Faith's.

"Not as long as you keep my interest. You're doing pretty good so far."

"You know you want me, you don't' have to be shy," Faith needled back, nudging Legs in the same manner that the girl had her, relief settling inside her as her eyes glinted with enjoyment at this bantering. "Just so you know, girlfriend…you die on me and I kick your ass to the North Pole."

"You want to lick my dead ass?" Legs smirked, her tone mock shocked as she widened her eyes, deliberately pretending to have misheard Faith's words. "Why, Faith, I had no idea that you were such a filthy necrophile."

"What, you rather me bite it?" Faith grinned, and Legs smiled back widely, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Oh, you know it, babe…"

Leaning forward, she lightly nipped the side of Faith's neck. When Faith gasped, eyes wide, an instinctive thrill shooting through her core at Leg's proximity, Legs drew back slightly, quickly licking the tip of Faith's nose as well. Jumping off of the monkey bars and landing gracefully on her feet, Legs beamed up at her, shouting for her to catch her as she took off towards the park entrance. Leaping down after her, Faith gave chase, long hair streaming behind her and tangling with her movements. She laughed, dimples cutting into her cheeks as she tore after Legs.

Legs was right. She couldn't worry about the future, or any other day. She couldn't even worry about death. All that mattered was this moment, and in this moment, Faith wanted to catch Legs, throw her down, and return the favor of her displays of teasing affection.

Mid 1998

Faith shook herself slightly, refocusing her attention on the alley street before her as she continued to walk, finishing out her patrol. It had been a slow night so far. She hadn't dusted anything at all, or even seen anything slay-worthy, and her mind was drifting badly from the lack of stimulation. That must have been why she'd started thinking again about the dream she'd had the night before- there wasn't' enough going on.

The dream had been kind of weird- not the events of it so much as because it wasn't really a dream at all, but rather a memory. Faith hadn't thought about that time with Legs in the park past the day that it had occurred. Really, she rarely thought about Legs at all anymore, and wouldn't have been surprised if the older girl would no longer recognize her for the person she was compared to the person Legs had known. But Faith knew that the dream had occurred in reality, that what she had seen in her sleep had actually happened some eighteen months ago.

So what was the point of dreaming or remembering it now, when it hadn't even been worth remembering then? What the hell was the big deal with that?

Whatever…since it was so slow tonight, maybe she'd just go home. There wasn't much point in walking around all night if all the bad guys were in hiding.

It had been a rather typical day for Faith, less exciting than usual, even, since she hadn't gotten to slay. Training, school, all the usual routine, except for the slightly weird dream-that-was-once-reality, there was nothing out of ordinary. Diana's words to Faith to be careful as she had left to patrol had been entirely unnecessary since it seemed that nothing out there wanted to put Faith at risk tonight.

Yeah, she might as well just go home…must be vampire veteran day or something.

Faith took her time about making her way back home, hoping to come across a vampire or something along those lines on her way that she could slay, but there was no such luck. She was disappointed as she ambled up the driveway of Diana's and her home, almost hoping that something would jump out onto the porch or from behind a tree to misdirect her from the path.

It wasn't until Faith had reached the front door and was starting to open it that she first felt the apprehension come over her, a strong dread settling against her chest and closing over her heart, stirring her stomach. Faith's hand froze on the doorknob, and she jerked her head around, looking around herself quickly to see if maybe there was something there after all. But no, she saw and heard nothing…and as she turned her head back toward the doorway, she was impressed with the feeling that it was not what lay behind her but rather what lay ahead of her that was invoking fear.

No…was Diana sick or hurt? Was something wrong with Diana? It couldn't be a vampire…Faith had never, to Diana's consternation, developed a sixth sense to just "sense" vampires, not yet anyway, and besides, they couldn't just come in a home without being invited in. And Diana wouldn't have invited a vampire in, she was too smart for that…wasn't she?

Shoving open the door abruptly, Faith came inside the building deliberately making quite a lot of noise, stake clutched tightly in her hand as she made her way into the kitchen, calling out to her Watcher and hoping for a calm, reassuring reply that would set her at ease.

"Di? Di, I'm home!"

There was no response. There was always a response. Couldn't Diana hear her? Couldn't she call back? Her mind stumbling over itself with an onslaught of renewed anxiety, her heart beating too rapidly now for her comfort, Faith called out again, almost yelling.

"Diana? Diana, where are you, I'm home!"

There was no response, and Diana was not in the kitchen…nor, as Faith quickly discovered, was she in the living room. This was more than enough to cause Faith to start to panic. Where was she, why wasn't she answering her back? Diana was always there waiting for her when she came home from slaying. She was never out. She was never asleep. She was never not THERE, she was always THERE, so where was she, why wasn't she here?

Okay, calm down, loser, Faith tried to tell herself, even as her knuckles whitened around the stake in her hand, her lips thinning, and she felt sick and shaky inside, as if she might faint or vomit. Cool it. She's probably in the bathroom, or maybe doing laundry or something, or she's on the porch in the back and doesn't hear you. Or maybe she was really tired or doesn't feel good and she did go to sleep, so what? You're a big girl, you don't need to have her waiting up for you ever night anyway, chill out.

Or maybe something was really wrong. That's what Faith couldn't help thinking and feeling, and that was what set her off to running down the halls, opening and closing doors and yelling Diana's name as fear fluttered inside her heart.

"Diana! Diana, where are you, come on!"

She hoped that she would hear Diana calling back to her with irritation, telling her to lower her voice and stop running around like a chicken with her head cut off, that she was perfectly all right. She hoped that she could hug Diana hard and then draw away, flushed and embarrassed. She hoped she would watch Diana's eyes soften as she touched her cheek, telling her with affection as much as exasperation what a silly girl she was and that she needed to wind down before bed. Faith wanted this more than anything she had ever wanted in her life up to this point.

But each room she thrust her head inside did not yield her Watcher's form, and no voice but her own echoed back to her. Diana was gone…Diana simply was not there.

It was in her own room, propped up on her pillow, that Faith found the note, written on a torn page from her journal. The message was written in block letters, as if someone or something were attempting to disguise its penmanship, and it was unsigned.

"Slayer: 837 Callway Road. See you there."

That was all. Faith stared at it for several moments, the writing blurring in her gaze, and she could feel her head pounding in rapid rhythm with her heartbeat, her stomach twisting so sharply that she could barely remain standing. The hand holding the note shook, almost tearing it.

They had her…something, someone had Diana, somehow something had Diana. They could have hurt her, they could be hurting her right now…they could be…

Faith didn't let herself finish the thought. She couldn't bear to. Gathering a few more stakes and her best, sharpest knife, she flew downstairs and out the door, running faster and with more urgency than she could ever remember doing so before.

This couldn't happen…she wouldn't let this happen. This would not, this WOULD NOT HAPPEN, not to her. Not to Diana.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

She wouldn't have let a vampire in. She's not that stupid, she knew all about vampires, she had taught Faith everything Faith knew about them. Diana would never have let a vampire in. Same thing with a demon, Diana would never have let a demon in, and if it broke or forced its way in then she would have been ready, she would have fought back, it couldn't have taken her on, Diana was tough even if she wasn't the youngest person alive, didn't she spar with Faith, after all? It was probably a human, a human with a gun, and that was why she had to go with him, and if it was a human Faith could take him down in half a second. Whatever it was, vampire, demon, human, Faith was going to kill it, there was no question about that. But Diana would be okay, Faith would make sure that Diana would be okay.

There were the thoughts that ran disjointedly through Faith's mind as she ran, her feet slamming down onto the sidewalk so hard and fast she wouldn't' have been surprised if she had left holes in the concrete. When the sidewalk gave out Faith ran at the side of the road, barely noticing and certainly not caring when more than one car beeped their horn as they swerved to avoid her. She had passed Callaway Road during patrol before, and it was a five or six miles from her home. She knew the addresses they had given, the place they must be at..the place they must be holding Diana at. It was a rundown warehouse set apart from the city limits, used for nothing now except shelter for the occasional bum and a daytime resting spot for the much more frequent vampire. Knowing this did nothing to set Faith's mind at ease- if anything, it freaked her out more, because what if a human had taken Diana there and a whole slew of vampires was already inside? She had to get there, there was no way to know what was happening to her…

It hadn't occurred to Faith while still back home to check and see if Diana's car was in the garage; nor had she thought of driving the car herself, as she had never done so before and was too panicked to take the time to give herself a crash tutorial. Instead she ran faster than she had ever run in her life, with such forceful motion of her arms and legs that she would later discover she had worn down the soles of her shoes to almost nothing. She ran as her mind screamed, as her heart settled up at the top of her throat, and a desperate prayer without words to a god she did not believe in repeated itself in every part of her being.

As she came upon the building in the distance, Faith was startled and newly furious to see Diana's car parked out front. Well that settled it, it was some human that had taken her, some human asshole who probably thought he could get Faith to give him ransom or something, because what vampire or demon would know how to drive? Or maybe they'd made Diana drive…how dare they, how fucking DARE they, how dare they try to rip Diana off like that, how dare they take her, Faith was going to go in there and remove their arms from their bodies and reattach them as tailfeathers on their asses!

The thought that her line of logic about vampires and demons not possibly knowing how to drive wasn't' exactly sound never occurred to Faith, nor did the realization that no ransom price had been listed on the note. Blazing with sudden bolstered confidence and righteous fury, leaving the stakes in her belt loop where they were and instead withdrawing her knife, Faith burst through the warehouse doors and in to the main central area- and then skidded to a halt, her entire body momentarily weak, paralyzed with extreme shock and a horror that entirely overwhelmed her system as her eye focused on the scene before her.

There were five figures in the room. Four of them were men, or had once been- now, their yellow eyes, bloodstained lips and chins, and leering smiles that revealed crimson-stained fangs made it terribly clear that the humans Faith had been so certain she would have the pleasure of harming for laying a hand on her Watcher did not exist.

But in those first moments Faith had very little concern for them; her mind could not deal very much with their acknowledged state of being, beyond note their presence and their vampire status. All she could truly see, all she could truly feel or think about- the focus and crux of all the world to her- was Diana.

She was chained to the wall, so tightly that she had no range of motion at all in her limbs- it would only be possible for her to turn her head. Her legs were bound together, her arms held over her head by the chains, most of her weight dangling from them, and Faith's sharp vision could see from the distance how her skin, where the chains were touching most strongly, was chafed and bleeding. One wrist dangled limply, one shoulder sunk lower than the other in its socket; Faith knew that her bones were broken. Diana was naked, several of her ribs visible from the strain of her arms held above her head, and her chest rose and fell with shallow, shuddery exhalations. She seemed to be struggling to breathe, struggling to stay conscious, her eyes glazed and unfocused, dull with her pain. And her body…all over her body, were bite marks, close, deep punctures dribbling blood from the vampire's fangs…and two of them even now were pulling away, blood staining their lips as they turned to look at Faith with terrible gloating smiles.

Her head lifted slightly, and she met Faith's eyes, her lips parted. It took Diana several tries before she could form Faith's name on her lips.

That was what Faith needed to be sharply drawn out of her frozen state. Her eyes opening wide, she screamed her Watcher's name, rushing straight at her, with every intention of getting her off the wall and out of the chains, of killing each of the creatures standing in her way. But three of the four vampires rushed her, knocking the knife out of her hands, and seizing her harshly, holding her arms and head so that she was forced to stare directly at Diana but could not break away.

Faith fought fiercely, writhing, flinging her body from side to side as much as she could, attempting to wrench herself out of their grasp. She felt something tear in her shoulder from her efforts and a stabbing burst of pain, but she did not pay any attention whatsoever to it, continuing to fight her captors every bit as wildly as before. Adrenaline aided with her endurance, strength, and in numbing the pain; even after her run of several miles at top speed, Faith was finding that extreme emotion could drive her to even greater peaks in physical exertion. She thrashed against them, hoarse enraged cries spilling out from her throat, but to her own anguished realization, she could not break away. There were three holding her, each supernaturally strong and larger than she was. If each of them were weaker than her individually, the three of them managed to match her in strength combined. Their hands dug cruelly into her arms, her torso, rough, bruising, and Faith could not have reached her stakes if she wanted to.

As she screamed curses at the top of her lungs, wild hatred and even greater terror pressing against her upper chest, the fourth vampire stood alone, very close to Diana's limp form on the wall. He was the tallest and the most imposing in appearance, with a broad chest and shoulders, at least 6'2, and Faith realized with an inner brief jolting that his hands were not hands at all, but rather cloven hooves or claws. He smiled at her slowly, and as Faith paused briefly in her struggling, sucking in a shuddering breath and feeling it catch in her throat, he reached out to slowly stroke the ashen flesh of Diana's cheek. Diana's eyes moved to follow his hand, but she could not lift her head even enough to turn her face away.

Seeing the weakness of her Watcher, the terrible smile on the vampire's face as he touched her with his horrible curled and dingy claws, Faith screamed in outrage, feeling her pulse jack up significantly, her entire body flushing with ire as she struggled again.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER, I'LL KILL YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" she shrieked, but the vampire just chuckled, his eyes glinting as he traced a finger down Diana's bare, bleeding shoulder. The woman's eyes continued to follow his hand slowly, and she clinched her jaw, her mouth opening, but no sound emerged. The vampire's eyes met Faith's, and he continued to leer with clear pleasure at her as she railed against her holders, even as they held her nearly entirely immobile.

"Slayer," he almost purred, his behooved hand still slowly stroking over Diana's exposed skin as he held Faith's eyes with his. Though she could not explain it, she stopped struggling to watch him, her eyes wide, returning his gaze with dread beating a rapid tattoo in her heart. "Really, you don't' have to be so gracious…the pleasure of our meeting is all mine. Faith, isn't it…isn't that what she said?"

He was not looking at Diana, but rather at the vampires holding Faith, as he spoke the latter sentences; nevertheless Faith assumed that he had been speaking to Diana. As if to back this assumption, the vampire clamped a hand on Diana's shoulder in an almost congenial manner even as he spoke to Faith in a voice that resonated with anticipation.

"I am Kakistos…the worst of the worst, SLAYER. I would give a longer introduction, but if you'll excuse me…appetizers before a meal really do very little to take an edge off an appetite, especially when split among four…"

With that, he turned towards Diana savagely, gripping her by the hair and forcing her head back before abruptly piercing her throat with his fangs and drinking deeply.

To Faith, the time that it took for Diana to die stretched out to a period of eternity that never truly stopped at all. Even years later she could still conjure those moments into her present and relive them over and over, helpless to escape their horror.

She could not scream…she couldn't even speak, couldn't make one sound. She couldn't move, couldn't cry, couldn't fight…and she couldn't look away. She watched as Diana's eyes bulged, pain radiating from her eyes, from the stark tautness of her features, that Faith felt her agony bodily along with her, and struggled to draw breath, convinced that she too was dying. She watched as Diana's face drained entirely of color, as her weakened frame grew even more slack and lifeless than before…she saw the moment that Diana's eyes went flat and blank as the life went out of her, and as Kakistos finally pulled away, lips stained liberally with Diana's blood, Faith knew.

She was dead. Her Watcher, her guardian, her teacher, her trainer, her friend…the only woman that Faith could have ever even privately considered to herself to truly be her mother…she was dead. This thing…this vampire…this Kakistos had killed her.

He was moving towards her, still smiling, talking to her casually, but Faith did not hear him. All she could hear was a wild throbbing in her head that she did not comprehend to be her racing heartbeat. Her visual field narrowed, her senses beginning to shut off, and the rage that spiked through her body then was unlike any she had ever before experienced. Her body trembled with the exertion of containing it, and there was nothing- nothing- in the entire world but her fury.

They had killed her, they killed Diana, THEY KILLED DIANA, they would die, they would suffer, they killed Diana…

A guttural scream arose deep from her core, and a savage drive of fresh adrenaline shot through her so that Faith lashed out again, finally succeeding in breaking free of her captors. They seized her again, but they could not keep hold of her. She fought as she never had before, wordlessly screaming as she managed to get one stake in her hand, kicking punching, breaking everything she could reach of her opponents as she eventually managed to slam her stake into one's heart. But even as it fell apart into dust, and she spun around to dust a second one, she heard a rush of footsteps and knew Kakistos was approaching, as were more vampires, suddenly emerging from the shadows. A clawed hand grabbed her, and Faith nearly vomited, remembering the same hand stroking Diana's skin.

Jerking away, she pulled back her arm to drive her stake home, but her fist was caught by the remaining of her three captors. Turning to slam her knee into his groin, she twisted away, but more were coming near, they would surround her, they would-

Her eyes fell to the knife that had earlier been flung away from her, now on the floor at her feet. Snatching it up instinctively, Faith turned; as Kakistos loomed over her she slashed out, cutting his face deeply through the eye socket.

His bellow of pain and rage echoed, and he blindly cast out at her, scraping her arm deeply with his claws, but Faith threw herself out of his grasp. Still tightly clutching the knife, she glanced wildly over her shoulder, counting four more vampires suddenly closing in.

She could not fight them all. There were too many, and she no longer had a stake. But no such logical reason that she could recognize ran through her head, and Faith would later burn inside with shame at what she perceived as her cowardice.

She did not try to fight…she turned back to the door, and she ran. Faith didn't look back to see if they were following, though from the sounds of it they were. She didn't think of where to go or what to do…she didn't think of anything except Kakistos's yellow eyes and laughing face, and the flat sheen of Diana's eyes.

She thought of this and she ran, heart slamming hard against her rib cage, pushing her body beyond all physical capabilities she had thought possible…she ran, but no matter what distance she covered, Faith knew even then that it would never be enough to get away.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Without even realizing that this was where she was headed, Faith ended up on the porch of Diana's- no, what had once been Diana's- house. She didn't want to go inside, not knowing whether or not Kakistos or other vampires had been invited inside by Diana. She didn't want to see all of Diana's possessions, to be visually reminded and emotionally assaulted by so many things of her now former life, of all the things she could no longer use and touch and see, that she could no longer have. But she was there, and she could not think of any place else to go, so Faith came inside and looked and bolted the door behind her, moving hurriedly to do so with all other modes of entrance in the house as well.

Once she had accomplished this she slumped on the couch in the living room, her hands gripping her hair tightly, lowering her head between her legs as her breathing shuddered out in sporadic gasps that shook her entire frame. She could not stop hearing Diana's sharp cry as Kakistos's fangs had pierced her jugular, the terrible greedy sucking noise he had made as he drained her of her blood. She could not stop her mind from continuously replaying rapid visuals of his leering bloodstained smile, of Diana's broken wrist and naked, bleeding form, of the stark pain in her eyes just before they blanked out into showing nothing, nothing but her passing over into death. Faith saw it all again, and as her heart rattled wildly against her rib cage, her stomach shriveling so that she was convinced that if she moved or opened her mouth, she would vomit, her hands tightened around her hair until she was almost pulling it out in her distracted anguish.

She tried desperately not to think, to shove back all thought, all emotion, speaking to herself with rapid run of words even as she doubled over, her entire body aching with both physical exertion and the agony of her emotion, quivering, every muscle tensed.

Stop stop stop stop stop stop no stop it don't no…

She opened her eyes suddenly, forcing herself with abrupt uncoordinated motion to sit up, to try to think. But the first thing that her eyes came to rest on was a framed photo of herself and Diana, taken with Diana's self-timing camera. Diana had her arm around Faith, her body curved towards her, and she was smiling…they were both smiling. She had taken that picture over six months ago, on Faith's birthday. Seeing Diana's eyes looking back at her, seeming to be watching her, the calm, contented pride in their surface contrasted sharply with the harsh suffering that Faith had witnessed in them only thirty minutes before. Keenly feeling those eyes looking back at her, knowing that the actual ones never would again, Faith felt like something had stabbed her directly in the heart and continued to push through all the way to the other side.

Diana had trusted her. Diana had been proud of her. Diana had cared about her…Diana had loved her. And because she had, look what had happened to her. Because of Faith, she was hurt. Because of Faith, she had endured unspeakable torment. Because of Faith she was dead.

Once the first sob broke out, it would have been impossible to stop the rest, and Faith held her hands tightly over her face doubling over, tears streaming between her fingers and dripping down her arms. She cried in the terrible, violent manner of a person who was unaccustomed to tears and did not quite know how to survive their duration, of a young girl whose pain could be given no other voice or outlet, of a warrior screaming protest at the injustice of the outcome of a terrible war. She cried the tired tears of a young woman who had pushed her body to exhaustion and still lost the race, of an adolescent who had lost herself, of a sinner who had lost her faith…but most of all, she almost screamed with the terrible grief of a child who had lost her mother.

There was no way Faith could have known for how long she cried, for how long she sat hunched over and violently shaking as her voice tapered off into rasping hoarseness and her tears dried up. When both finally came to an end she was hot, yet shivering, her head aching badly at the temples, and she felt weak and very heavy, her entire body aching, feeling so raw and exposed that had Kakistos returned, she might not have had the strength to stand, let alone fight. Her hands were dampened considerably with her tears and mucus, and Faith took a deep, snuffling breath as she wiped them on her legs, closing her eyes before sitting up.

She had to leave. She couldn't stay here. Not in Diana's house, with Diana's things…she couldn't stand it. People might find out, people who didn't know she was the Slayer, they might send her to a foster home, or worse. She had to take care of herself again now, watching her own back, and she had to leave…she had to go somewhere that Kakistos wouldn't find her, and fast. It was still dark out, and he knew where she lived.

Taking another breath, Faith wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket, then took a tissue from the box beside the couch to blow her nose. Forcing back her thoughts the best that she could that were not solely focused on her escape, unable to handle thinking about anything else, she stood on shaky legs, making her way upstairs to her room. As quickly as possible she gathered clothes, stakes, a few knives, a bottle of holy water, a few pairs of shoes, and what money she had for herself. However badly she might need it, she would not go through Diana's things. She would not take her money. She would rather starve to death.

With this bag packed after less than five minutes, Faith hurried downstairs, looking at everything she passed as little as was at all possible. Opening the front door, she stepped onto the porch, then looked around herself quickly- and froze, her body stilling with shock as she took in the sight of the figure standing on her porch with the disbelief of one who thought she must be dreaming.

"Legs?" she almost whispered, blinking several times, not daring to raise her voice or reach out to touch her, as if in fear of shattering a possible illusion. "Is that really you?"

"Of course it is," Legs smiled, and she took a step closer, lifting her arms in teasing disbelief. "I know it's been a while, but damn, I haven't changed that much have I?"

She hadn't changed much at all that Faith could tell. Legs's hair was still short and somewhat scraggly, and she was dressed in the typical baggy jeans and shirt that Faith was accustomed to seeing her in. she looked paler than usual, considering that it was well into summer now, and thin, but then, Legs had always been pale and thin. Considering that over a year and a half had passed since Faith had seen her last, making Legs probably a legal adult or close to it by this time, she looked remarkably similar.

No, Faith had recognized her…she sometimes thought she would recognize Legs, no matter what era it was or how much they had both changed, always. But what was she doing here…how had she…

"You left," Faith said tightly, still staring, not drawing closer, even as her heart beat faster, her throat tightening with hope and longing. She could not quite grasp what she was seeing, could not quite accept it as reality…and she almost prayed that it wasn't. Because if Legs wasn't really here…if Legs hadn't just really turned up out of nowhere, an entire state away, on her doorstep…then maybe it was all just a dream. Maybe it really hadn't happened at all…maybe Kakistos hadn't happened either, nothing of this whole night. Maybe Diana was still alive. Maybe she would wake up and it would just all be gone…

Faith was afraid to touch Legs, to find her real and solid enough to shatter this rising hope. And yet she wanted to grab her and clutch her to her, to weep with exhaustion, exaltation, and relief for her presence, for her continued existence…and this proof that Legs had not forgotten her. But she also wanted to push her, to hit Legs and scream at her, to ask her why she had run from her, why she had stayed away for so long, taken all of this time to find her…with all of these instinct warring inside her, Faith stayed perfectly still, staring barely blinking into Legs's face, memorizing her features, every flicker of her expression, all over again.

"You left," she repeated, her eyes boring hard into Legs's. "When I was arrested…when the cops came. You didn't help me, you didn't explain…you just took off, Legs."

"Yeah…yeah, I know, Faith," Legs exhaled, shifting her weight, crossing her arms, and for the first time since Faith had met her, she lowered her eyes, her shoulders rounding in.

As if she felt sorry…or guilty. Faith had never seen her look like that before…she hadn't known that Legs COULD feel sorry, and she continued to watch her, her eyes narrowed, confused, uncertain. The entire night had been so strange, so long, and nothing at all made sense to her anymore.

"I know…I'm sorry about that. Instinct kicked in, what can I say. I'm used to covering my own ass, but that's no excuse. I should have thought about covering yours too. I did later…believe me, Faith," Legs said with great feeling, her eyes dark with intensity, "Later I was sorry. I thought it was too late to make it up to you…but now that I've finally found you, maybe it's not. If you don't want it to be."

Faith continued to stare at her, blinking, trying to process what Legs was saying…could it really be true, that Legs really hadn't meant to leave her…that she really hadn't forgotten her? That she had been looking for her all this time…that she…

"You're trying to tell me that you've been looking for me for over a year?" she asked, her tone harsh, even as her heart sped still faster, and she crossed her arms, unconsciously mirroring Legs's stance.

The shock of the other girl on her porch had so stunned her that for the moment it was not possible for her to remember her urgent need to leave town, to evade Kakistos and his gang if he were to decide to come after her, to get going as fast and far away as she could. It didn't even occur to Faith to remember the reason for the weight of the bag on her back; she barely felt it.

"Legs, are you serious here?"

"Well, not continuously…not like every second of every day," Legs admitted, shrugging. "But yeah, Faith, I've been asking around, using everything I knew to find you…and now it's finally paid off."

She frowned, furrowing her eyebrows, and said with quiet uncertainty that was atypical of the Legs Faith remembered, "Aren't you glad at all that I found you?"

Yes…and no…and…Faith had no answer for that question yet. She had no answer for anything, so she swallowed slowly, asking another question instead.

"How did you find me..I'm in a whole new state…and it's not like too many people on the streets back then knew us by name…"

"I've got connections," Legs replied with a trace of the old grin that Faith remembered. "Wasn't that hard."

Her face softened, growing serious, and she took a step closer to Faith, only a couple of feet away from her as she spoke with intense sincerity to her.

"Faith…I'm sorry. It was shitty of me to run off on you. I just got scared. I know, I always said I wasn't afraid to die, that I never got scared…you had to know I was full of shit, right? Didn't you? Everyone's afraid to die. Doesn't matter who they are…in the end, everyone's afraid."

Faith thinned her lips, swallowing hard as a fast visual of Diana's pained eyes came into her mind…she had never imagined that her Watcher could fear anything, but she had seen in her eyes as Diana drifted into her death that she was. Legs was right…no one could really keep from fearing death, not when it came to stare them right in the face.

"You're the only person, all my life, that I ever cared about," Legs almost whispered, her face open, vulnerable with emotion that Faith had never seen in her before, not to this extent. "It's always been just you, Faith…and I'll hate myself if I screwed that up. And then where am I gonna be, because other than you, the only person I ever cared about was me."

Faith's heart twisted, and she swallowed hard, her eyes lowering. It was all so much to take in, too much, and she took several moments before she could come up with a reply.

"I…Legs, I thought…I missed you," she said, her voice almost cracking, and Legs smiled gently, her eyes almost glowing.

"Faith…can I give you a hug?"

Faith hesitated only for a moment, then stepped forward with eager neediness, pulling Legs close, wanting, needing her arms around her, proof of her presence, her caring, the warmth of her touch…but the moment she touched Legs she drew in a sharp breath as horrified realization stuck her.

Legs no longer felt like Legs…or like any human being at all. She was cold, her skin hard to the touch, yet not clammy…she felt like an unmovable stone pillar.

She felt dead. She felt like a…

Faith jerked away from her, eyes widening, as her breathing caught in her throat. Her mind wanted to rebel against what she had felt, what she knew to be true…but she knew, and as she stared into Legs's amused eyes, watching the mocking smile slowly turn up the corners of her lips, she could not deny it.

Legs was a vampire.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

(last chapter guys…and I'm actually rather sad because I enjoyed writing this, as utterly depressing as it was.)

"No," Faith almost whispered, and then repeated louder, more sharply, almost a hiss. "No…NO."

"What's wrong, girlfriend?" Legs smirked, and the smug relish in her tone, the victorious glowing of her eyes, made Faith's stomach flip, fists forming as her jaw clinched tightly. "You're usually so much more cuddly than this…"

"You're usually not dead," Faith spat, and Legs laughed, the sound all the more terrible to Faith because it was still the same laugh of the Legs that had once been…only now with a sharp undertone of viciousness that had never been present before.

"Damn, you're quicker than I thought…"

She took a step towards her, and Faith quickly took several steps back, her features hardening even as her heart continued to pound wildly, her stomach sinking to her toes. Legs too…Legs too, dead…Legs too…

"Get the hell away from me," she said in a soft but dangerous tone, but Legs just laughed.

"You never wanted that before, babe…I could always tell how much you wanted me," Legs said in soft, seductive tones, her body shifting into blatantly seductive posture as she came closer to Faith slowly, even as her eyes gave away the vicious pleasure she got from what she was doing, the pain that she was causing. "You can have me now, Faith…you can have me forever, if you want. Don't you want me anymore?"

"How the hell did this happen," Faith ground out through a very tensed jaw, refusing to let her face flicker at all from anger in its expression, to let any weaker emotion show to Legs if she could help it. She would not give her that satisfaction, not anymore…not like this. "I thought you were better than this, I thought you were smarter…how the hell could you let this happen to yourself, Legs? How the hell did you even find me, what the fuck do you want from me after all this time?"

"Like I said, I've got connections, babe," Legs murmured, and her voice grew lower, insistent, as she looked Faith in the eyes. "And besides…me being turned? That's your fault, Faith…but you knew that, didn't you?"

"How the fuck do you figure?" Faith said with incredulity, her eyes sharply focused on the undead creature who had once been to her the one person she cared about in all the world…the creature that was no longer even a person.

She kept her hand near her belt, where her new supply of two sakes and a knife rested, even as inside she was still screaming, still reeling at the reality that she was now confronting, wanting only to turn and run from everything and deny it all as being part of her knowledge. Legs, Diana, Kakistos…no, no, fucking NO…

But she would not back down, she would not back away. Fear, shock, nerves, sadness, none of it could be shown, not now…not ever. So Faith raised her chin, her words flat, controlled, carrying an aggressive edge as she continued.

"You took off on ME, you fucking betrayed ME, I haven't seen you in eighteen damn months, Legs, and you get yourself turned into a monster and decide to stake me out, how the FUCK is that my fault?"

But Legs was still smiling, still seeming to take up more room, to come ever closer to Faith even though she did not actually move… she seemed near to Faith, so that it was actually hard for her to catch her breath, and she tried to suck it in without Legs noticing even as she clinched her fists to keep her hands from shaking. No…just…NO, god, NO. How much more could she take..

But the question, even when only thought rather than spoken aloud, was premature, for Legs's next softly spoken words horrified Faith on an entirely new level.

"Well, you weren't there, of course, babe…you didn't help me out, you didn't save me. Just like those guys in the alley, remember? Just like with that woman…what was her name again? Donna? Diane…Diana?"

At the sound of her Watcher's name, Faith froze for a millisecond, ice forming itself around her heart…as it seemed to shatter, breaking into large shards that cut into her insides, Faith lashed out. Seizing Legs with sudden harsh speed, her fingers digging into her roughly, she twisted her around and slammed her back into the door, holding her against it with one hand and with her body. With her other hand she flipped out one of her stakes, holding it with the point to Legs's heart as she pushed her face very close, all control and hiding of emotion gone now, replaced by jerky aggression, rage…and panic.

"What did you to do to her, Legs, what do you know! How do you know her name! How do you know what she is- what the hell did you do?" she screamed, spittle spraying into the other girl's face, and even though Legs continued to smile coolly, Faith saw her eyes flit briefly to regard the stake at her chest with some unease.

"Faith, babe, you know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me…you know you never could," she started, but Faith refuted that comment fast.

"Oh I fucking well could and will," she hissed, jabbing her just hard enough to hurt without piercing the skin, and Legs widened her eyes involuntarily.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you," she still managed to sound remarkably casual and amused, even with Faith' stake still pressed against her chest and her body, forcefully blocking her from moving. "Don't you wonder what happened to her, Faith…don't you want to know everything about why it is that you just weren't enough to save her?"

Again Faith stilled, her insides twisting sharply, and she swallowed, her eyes on Legs, trying to read into their glitteringly evasive depths…for she did want to know, she needed so badly to know. She needed an explanation, needed it to somehow make sense, have a reason, no matter how screwy and wrong of one it was.

She needed to know that it wasn't all her fault…but what if it was?

"What did you do," she said slowly, her hand tightening around the stake, maintaining the pressure against Legs's chest. "Tell me now and tell me the fucking truth or find yourself in pieces small enough to fit in a ring box."

"See…I knew you'd have to reconsider," Legs smiled, arching an eyebrow. "You always were reasonable when it came down to getting something you really wanted…except of course, when it came to me. You really never were very good with that, were you , girlfriend?"

Her teeth gritting at Legs's use of the word in a tone so mocking of the casual, affectionate way that the human Legs had used it, Faith ground the stake tip just a little harder against Legs's chest. "I will fucking kill you if you don't tell me what you did to Diana," she said in a voice so terribly calm, yet so entirely deadly in tone, that even Legs knew better than to test her. She wasn't looking quite so amused as she began to talk, still often uneasily eyeing the stake.

"Damn serious when I say all of this is your fault, Faith, that's no lie. The only reason I was ever here at all was because of you. I mean, I'd moved up towards this county a while ago, and I didn't know you were here or anything about how you lived or any of that. But I heard about the Slayer. Living on the street, you hear shit, you know? I found out soon enough around these parts that vampires were real. Not all that shocked, think I might have fought off a few before without knowing it, thought they were just like hugely weird perves or something. The guys you saved, vamps who knew about you, they talked. Once I heard you name mentioned, I wondered, figured that was a stupid idea. Wasn't until I got taken that I knew for sure what you were."

"How," Faith hissed, and Legs shrugged, rolling her eyes.

"Gang of vampires got me one day. The one was fighting me and I started yelling how I knew the Slayer and she'd kick their asses for me if she knew they touched me. I figured, what the hell, I'm gonna die anyway so if I can't fight them off, might as well try whatever might work, right? The thing is they actually did start listening. I started spouting off your name and what you looked like, all that shit, what great buds we were, really pathetic shit…hey, worked at the moment though," Legs smirked, wiggling her eyebrows. "They hauled me into their honcho leader guy's place, drilled me some more…turns out they had been working on some huge plan and thought I might be exactly the bait they wanted."

Faith struggled to digest this, to figure out where she and Diana fit in…it made no sense to her, none of this made sense.

"What did you do," she demanded, gripping Legs so harshly that she saw cuts appear in the girl's skin. Even so Legs grinned…to Faith's rage, she seemed to be enjoying it.

"Love it when you get rough, babe…if you'd have taken it up to this level before I never would have run off on you."

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" Faith screamed, and she jerkily staked her, deliberately only inches from Legs's heart, so that the girl involuntarily yelled with pain, flinching. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Okay, damn…this is a turn on and all, but I do like to be able to reciprocate," Legs gasped, and when Faith yanked her stake back threateningly, eyes flashing, she hurried to continue.

"They said they'd let me go if I helped them out, and I figured, what the hell other chance did I have? They said they'd let me go…didn't mention they'd make me a bloodsucker first," Legs raised an eyebrow, still smirking slightly. "Guess I never read the fine print…doesn't matter, it's damn amazing. But I guess you'll find out soon enough, babe…"

Faith brought the stake down hard again, slamming it into Legs's right upper chest, and the other girl gasped, even as what looked to Faith like excitement lit up her features.

"Give a girl some time to get it out…haven't you got any appreciate for a vivid story? Anyway turns out they'd already done some detective work, figured out where you lived, but they were holding back, figuring out the best way to reel you in since you're the hot shot Slayer and all. So they sent me after you, and all I had to do was fool the woman. I was still human, so it wasn't hard. Came running down the street, screaming, crying, all that girly victim help me shit, all roughed up and dirty- no stretch on that front," Legs said with amusement, grinning, clearly relishing this recounting of her own success. "Came pounding on the door yelling they were after me, yelling about you, that I needed help and you would die after you'd tried so hard to save me. Oh, it was too damn easy, really. The woman came out of the house fast like you wouldn't believe, brought me inside all concerned with a million questions…I was still human, so she must have saw that and thought I was alright. Surprised YOU didn't see that I'm not, hot shot. Some Slayer, right? So then it was pretty easy to grab up one of those heavy statue things in the living room and knock her out with it, drag her out to the vamps and let them take off with her…figured they'd let me go like they said then, but they aren't exactly known for their promises."

Legs shrugged, as much as was possible under Faiths' harsh grip on her shoulders, her smile so condescending, so clearly enjoying the moment…

"What are you gonna do now, Faithy…kill me? Already been done, babe…too late to save me either. So…why don't you join me? I promise I'll make you VERY happy…"

Faith stared at her, no longer moving, no longer really seeing the girl before her or feeling her body under her grasp. Total understanding of what Legs had done was starting to dawn on her…it was not even the vampire Legs, who had done it. It wasn't the Legs who had no soul, no ties to her, but the human Legs. The Legs who had lived with her, cared for her, protected her…the Legs she had loved. The Legs who she had thought loved her.

That Legs, the Legs who had taught her to steal and played with her hair, the Legs who had read comics with her and instigated snowball fights, the Legs who had snuck into the YMCA and swam naked with her, the Legs who had slept with her head on Faiths' shoulder…the Legs who had gotten her tattoo with her. The Legs who had looked into Faith's eyes and told her that she was her heart.

That was the Legs that had helped lure Diana…that was the Legs who had destroyed forever everything that had finally brought Faith peace and happiness in her life. That was the Legs who had killed her Watcher, her guardian, her friend…her surrogate mother.

As this sunk into her mind, Faith felt no grief, no shock, no anger…only a slowly settling numbness that smoothed itself over her features gradually so she resembled a blank mask more than a feeling person. She felt empty, cold inside…a nothingness that was stark and bleak, and much less accepted than her rage. But she could not bring herself to care.

She knew what she had to do.

Misinterpreting her stillness as shock or sadness, Legs spoke softly, seductively, catching her eyes.

"There is nothing left for you, Faith…no one to care, nothing in all your life to give you meaning, or even more than a five minute fuck's worth of attention…is there. But I'll change that for you. You can have me now, just like you always wanted…you can have anything now, do anything, with no one to turn you down or hold you back. Forget everything that went before…go with what you need now."

Faith looked into the eyes of the girl who had once been her world, the girl who had now taken her world away from her…she looked slowly, with blank scrutiny in her face, and spoke with quiet firmness in her tone.

"I do…I will."

With a decisive strong motion she plunged her stake downward, this time directly into Legs's heart. She watched impassively as the girl's eyes bulged, shock showing itself in her features, before scattering into dust into the night sky. With no expression, no emotion, Faith stood there, and then turned slowly, shouldering her bag. There was nothing in her anymore that could bring herself to feel. Not then. Not yet.

As she began to walk slowly up the driveway, her thoughts turned to the other Slayer…the girl called Buffy. It was her first thought, the only place she could think of to go.

Sunnydale. She wondered if she could get there by the end of the week. She wondered what would be waiting there for her when she arrived. But she didn't' wonder much. It didn't' really matter.

Nothing did. Not anymore. She just didn't care.

Early 1998

Before the fireplace Diana Dormer lifted her hands from Faith's shoulders and flexed her fingers, her usual indication that her massage was complete. Faith exhaled slowly, enjoying the lingering feelings of warmth in her skin from the touch as she stretched.

"You did well today," Diana said mildly, and Faith sat up straight, turning her head quickly. Compliments were spaced far enough apart from Diana as to her performance that she was always very eager to hear. "In your academics as well as your training. You're coming along quite nicely, Faith."

"Yeah?" Faith said with some surprise, and Diana gave her a slight reproving look.

" 'Yes,' Faith, or 'ma'am' is the polite way to ask someone a question, as you well know."

"Sorry," Faith muttered, then said to placate her, "I am…yes?"

"Yes," Diana said, and her face relaxed into a smile as she faced Faith, speaking with quiet sincerity. "I hope you realize that I am quite proud of you, Faith."

Faith smiled with sudden shyness; as Diana smiled too, she patted her shoulder briefly and stood.

"Off to bed with you now. Good night, Faith."

"Good night." Faith stood slowly, but her heart was fluttering, her insides anxious with what she was thinking, with her strong urge of what she wanted to do…and she found herself turning, blurting out awkwardly, "Diana?"

"Yes?" Diana looked up, and Faith flushed, her eyes skipping past her as the words emerged for the first time since she had come to stay with her almost a year ago.

"I, uh…I love you."

As her face reddened, her heart pounding hard at this daring, Diana smiled; her features seemed softer and younger to Faith as she came near her, gently cupping her cheek.

"Oh, Faith…" she said softly, pulling her into a hug and almost whispering into her ear. "I love you too."

She held her close for several moments, her next words emphasized with a slight squeeze.

"No mother could be prouder."

As they drew away, Faith's throat choked slightly as Diana smiled at her again, giving her a little push towards the door. She too was smiling, feeling warm, satisfied.

She was so damn lucky.

The end


End file.
